Night Feeding
Marcelle, 30, a full-time mum from London, had a daughter, Jemima, 15 months. For the last year Marcelle had been surviving on three hours broken sleep a night.
The Problem
Problem – 15 months old waking for a feed every hour.
It was midnight, we had just arrived home after a long drive and Jemima was crying and still refusing to sleep. Finally I snapped and shouted at her: “Will you just be quiet!” As soon as the words were out I was mortified. But for the previous 15 months I’d been surviving on three broken hours sleep a night.
Jemima shared our bed – it was the only way we got any sleep – and for the three months previously she’d been waking hourly, crying for 20 minutes and breast-feeding. This pattern followed a failed attempt at the controlled crying technique – where you leave a baby crying for longer periods each night until they finally learn to get themselves to sleep.
I was diagnosed as having post-natal depression but I knew it was down to the sleep deprivation. I’d count the hours until Justin got home from work so I could hand her over. If he was even a few minutes late I’d scream and shout at him.
He was sleep deprived too so our marriage took quite a battering. I lost weight and spent my days on the sofa feeding Jemima with no energy to clean, cook, shop or even go out.
My sole goal was to get five hours sleep – if I managed even three I’d phone friends to tell them. It was when I finally lost my rag with Jemima that Justin trawled the internet for a Sleep Clinic and found Millpond’s website.
The Solution
Mandy said that the first thing to do was to move Jemima’s breast feed to before her bath at bedtime and to reduce the breast feeds over night. A healthy baby of 12 months or more, who is eating well in the day, doesn’t need to feed as much as this throughout the night. Part of the problem was that Jemima associated being fed with going to sleep so whenever she woke in the night instead of settling herself back to sleep she cried until I fed her.
It was important for her to learn other sleep cues, like a good bedtime routine: Laying down in a warm comfortable cot, a darkened room and a kiss goodnight. The next step was to introduce an evening routine.
I was told that when she woke in the night, to slowly, slowly reduce her feeds so that she stopped depending on milk during the night. We decided to keep one night feed for now.
Mandy reassured us that this would be hard work but if we stuck to the sleep plan we would soon see progress. She also warned we would be even more tired at the outset.
The next stage was getting baby Jemima to fall asleep on her own in her cot using the gentle steps of the gradual withdrawal programme. Slowly we worked through the series of steps set up for us by Mandy to help Jemima get used to happily settling sleepily in her cot.
She cried on and off in my arms as I rocked her for 20 minutes on the first night before falling asleep – which was hard – but by the second and third nights it was no more than 10 minutes of fussing.
Three days in she was going to sleep without a feed within minutes of lying down and when she woke through the night I quickly resettled her using the steps of the sleep plan. She had begun to understand the routine.
Because we used a gentle graduated sleep plan it took about four weeks to complete the process, but I’m happy we did it this way as there really was very minimal upset for Jemima and also for me.
Jemima has been sleeping through for almost four months now and I feel like a different woman. I’m finally enjoying motherhood.
See what families say about us
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This training day has been very positively received by all members of the health visiting team. Staff feel better equipped to assess and provide advice on interventions that are evidence based to support parents. I strongly recommend that all clinical staff attend this extremely valuable training.”
Carol Adams, Clinical Educator Health Visiting. Lewisham NHS Trust -
Within my role as Infant Feeding Specialist – we have a large volume of mothers worried that their child is not sleeping, often equated to feeding concerns – this workshop has provided me with more in-depth strategies to support families with sleep issues. Lots of interesting research to follow-up and incorporate into my practice.”
D Wilson, Infant Feeding Specialist -
The HSE National Programme ‘Nurture’ engaged Millpond to deliver an extensive number of sleep workshop to registered public health nurses in the Republic of Ireland during 2018/19. Millpond provided an excellent professional service. They were open and willing to engagement and adaptation of the UK sleep programme to local needs. Feedback from the workshop participants was excellent. The Millpond trainers were flexible in developing the programme timetable and workshops were delivered over a wide geographical area in a timely and efficient manner.
Virginia Pye, National Lead for Public Health Nursing, HSE -
The landscape around children’s sleep is increasingly expansive and changing. Millpond’s up-to-date training meets the need to adapt to growing trends in child sleep challengers. Fully comprehensive and nurturing in their approach; encompassing all essential holistic and trending aspects in fully supporting a child’s emotional wellbeing to maximising a child’s sleep potential.
Rozanne Hay, UK Representative & Director of Continuing Education for the International Association of Child Sleep Consultants -
“Our health visiting service will enable us to support children’s sleep using Millpond as accredited and suitable in conjunction with BFI.”
Helen Foskett, Senior Early Help Worker | Tonbridge & Malling Children's Centres -
“An excellent training course with informed and sector-leading practitioners who have a wealth of knowledge and relevant experience.”
A Williams, Early Years Pathfinder Staff Development & Training Officer, Flintshire -
Really great to leave with a sense of a Tool Kit to support the children and families I work with.”
T Harold- School Health Nurse and Community Practice Teacher -
I attended the workshop you did at Oakleigh special school. I wanted to say it was wonderful. I learned lots of new things and was impressed by your extensive knowledge about sleep, especially that it was backed up by research. Thank you.”
T Nicholls -
“Mandy hosted two 2 sleep workshops for parents. The parents were tremendously keen to attend and to get the best advice about good sleep practices for both babies and young children. Mandy’s sessions met the parent’s needs, resulting in families feeling more confident and empowered afterwards.
Parenting Consultant, Liz Day
I have no hesitation in recommending Mandy to host a workshop on children’s sleep whether to parents or professionals.
It’s thought-provoking, interesting and contains good practical advice that works, so making sleep times easier and less stressful for both the child and the parent.” -
I worked for 15 years making science and medical documentaries for BBC television. In 2011 I created my own digital company; Essential Parent (EP) to support new parents.
Diana Hill, Essential Parent
EP works with the NHS, maternity hospitals, children’s centers and local authorities around the UK.
We chose Mandy Gurney as our sleep expert from many other possible candidates, since she was the only one who combined enormous authority, experience and knowledge, along with common sense and warmth. It’s a very rare combination of qualities and one which has served our parents, midwives and health visitors really well.
We’re enormously proud to be working with her – and we know just how lucky we are!” -
I felt this course was really child-centered which is very good to see in something that could easily become behaviour focused.
Amanda Kendrick, Therapist, Western Bay Adoption Service -
Excellent workshop. Delivered by trainers who a passionate and very, very knowledgeable. Very easy to listen to with relevant content on PowerPoint and handouts.
Faye Jeffs, Family Support Practitoner -
I attended the Understanding Babies Communication and Sleep Workshop today.
Having attended past training and finding the evidence-based techniques effective and helpful with clients I work with, I was interested in gaining more information around supporting the younger baby.
Jade Atkins, Perinatal specialist Nursery Nurse -
I have attended a Millpond course before. I found this workshop, Understanding Babies Communication and Sleep to be an excellent, well-informed research-based tool which I can use in my role to support mothers to understand their babies sleep needs using kind, gentle and responsive methods.
George Sibthorp, Specialist Perinatal Nursery Nurse Health and Well Being Ambassador -
I have attended training from yourselves before and really wanted to ensure the Nursery Nurse team with whom I now manage have the same tool belt of vital knowledge and skills when supporting Mum’s and families on the MBU to transition into parenthood.
Amy Daddow, Lead Nursery Nurse Mother and Baby Unit -
“Thank you both for delivering the fantastic sleep workshop. I now feel more confident and motivated to support families that are struggling with sleep issues.
I will use my knowledge to support families at home struggling with sleep. I can already think of 2 families that I think will be keen to help.”
Amy Sullivan Southern Trust Northen Ireland -
“I deliver the Incredible Years Speech and Language Delay program to parents of children with Autism. Parents shared during the session that their children often don’t go to bed until late in the evening and they are struggling with their bedtime routine, I registered for the training to gain more knowledge and information with the view to offer additional support to families.
The training exceeded my expectations.
The presenters made the session very interactive. Provided great insight to the topic and the passion to offer support to other professionals and families who require support with sleep difficulties was evident. Both ladies were amazing. What I liked about today’s session was that there were real-life examples provided and discussed.”
Bernadetta Viana Southern Trust Northen Ireland -
“There was a huge amount of information but the trainers were amazing, never had training with people so passionate and knowledgeable and they don’t read from the slides they just talk with so much information being relayed.
I enjoyed all elements of the course both as a mother to 5 and as a student who wants to help others, there was so much information and I feel really enthused to learn more and provide parents with this information, my only regret was I didn’t know this when my twins were younger! (could have saved myself 3 years of sleep deprivation!) “
Joanne McCourt Southern Trust Northen Ireland -
“I recently attended the Two Day Advanced Sleep Workshop. This course exceeded my expectations. I loved the hands-on practice with actual case studies.”
Dr Noreen Mushtaq, Consultant Paediatrician -
“The Two Day Advanced Sleep Workshop was so interactive, and informative, with lots of cases and discussion. Knowledgeable speakers with much experience. Excellent.”
Dr Gregory Minnaar, Paediatrician -
“The speakers on the Two Day Advanced Sleep Workshop were extremely knowledgeable, and presentations were easy to follow.”
Dr Sarah Ogilvie, Speciality Doctor -
“The Advanced Sleep Workshop workshop reinforced the importance of structured bedtime routines, using a 7-day sleep diary, and addressing delayed sleep phase. This will directly influence how we support families in our service. I plan to work with our multidisciplinary team to create a new pathway, ensuring that children are only prescribed melatonin after completing a structured sleep programme.”
Dr Diane Short, Consultant Paediatrician -
“Both speakers on the Advanced Sleep Workshop training are very knowledgeable and experienced.”
Dr Shachi Buch, Consultant Community Paediatrician
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