Co-sleeping safely with my baby

6th February 2025 0 Comments

Bedsharing: Understanding the Risks and Benefits

Written February 2025

Bedsharing has been a common practice for centuries, especially when families lived in smaller spaces and shared sleeping areas out of necessity. Today, in many cultures, co-sleeping is still the norm, often driven by tradition rather than economic factors.

Sleeping in the same bed as your baby or toddler can be a comforting experience for both of you. It allows for easier night wakings and feeding without getting out of bed. Research has also shown that co-sleeping mothers tend to breastfeed for longer durations. However, bedsharing also comes with potential challenges and risks that parents should consider.

co-sleeping safely

Challenges of Bedsharing

While many parents find bedsharing beneficial, it can take time to adjust to sleeping next to a wriggly child. Transitioning a child out of your bed when the time feels right can be difficult. Additionally, for some couples, sharing a bed with their child may impact their intimate relationship.

The Safety Debate

Research has highlighted the risks associated with bed-sharing, particularly for infants. The NHS and The Lullaby Trust recommend that the safest place for a baby under six months is in a separate cot or Moses basket in the same room as their parents.

Studies have found that the first six months of life are the period of highest risk for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), and bedsharing during this time can increase that risk.

Despite these recommendations, a survey of over 3,400 parents revealed that many parents co-sleep at least some of the time. Some parents even fall asleep with their baby accidentally, which can present serious risks if done in an unsafe environment!

Whether you decide to share your bed comes down to personal choice, but it is vitally important to know how to make it as safe as you can to avoid accidentally putting your baby at risk.

Safe Co-Sleeping: Essential Guidelines

If you decide to co-sleep, it’s essential to follow safety guidelines to minimise the risks.

When NOT to Co-Sleep:

If your baby was born prematurely (before 37 weeks) or has a low birth weight (under 2.5 kg), as this is linked to a higher risk of SIDS.
If you or your partner have consumed alcohol or taken any drugs (prescription, over-the-counter, or illegal) that could make you drowsy.
If you or your partner are smokers, even if you do not smoke in the bedroom.
If you are on a sofa or armchair—dozing off with a baby in these settings significantly increases the risk of SIDS.
If your baby is left alone in bed—babies can unexpectedly move into unsafe positions.
If you have pets that sleep in your bed.
If other children are sharing the bed.

Safe Co-Sleeping Practices:

Ensure your baby sleeps on a firm, flat mattress with no soft bedding.
Keep pillows, blankets, nests, and pods away from your baby’s face and head to prevent suffocation and overheating.
Place your baby on one side of the bed, rather than between two adults.
Make sure there is no risk of your baby falling out of bed or getting trapped between the mattress and the wall.
Follow all the safer sleep guidelines from The Lullaby Trust and NHS guidance.

Alternatives to Bedsharing

If you want to be close to your baby at night but are concerned about the risks of bedsharing, there are safer alternatives:

Bedside co-sleeper cots: These attach securely to your bed with one side open, providing the closeness of bed sharing without the risks.
Placing a cot next to your bed: Your baby will still be near you but in their own separate sleep space.

Final Thoughts

Whether or not to bedshare is a personal decision, and many parents may wish to co-sleeping with their baby or child.

If you choose to do so, it is crucial to follow safety guidelines to minimise risks. Awareness and preparation can help ensure that both you and your baby sleep as safely as possible.

Follow all the safer sleep guidelines for your baby from The Lullaby Trust

How to co-sleep more safely video from The Lullaby Trust.

0 Comments

See what parents' say about us

When feeling overwhelmed by tiredness and in need of real sleep help, Millpond’s ‘Teach Your Child to Sleep’ is a much welcomed, well researched resource. This is an easy read with a practical nurturing approach that walks you and your child through to a good night sleep.
Rozanne Hay, UK Representative and Director for Continuing Education IACSC International Association Of Child Sleep consultants
The Millpond approach is non-prescriptive and [their] book offers lots of choices for parents to match their own goals and parenting styles. I would heartily recommend it for anyone already experiencing problems with sleep or to set up good sleep habits proactively.
Melissa Hood, founder of The Parent Practice
This baby and child sleep guide is the perfect combination of accessible science, Mandy’s years of experience and a mother’s warmth. I love the way things fall into place with Mandy’s clear and thorough explanations!
Diana Hill, co founder of Essential Parent
Millpond’s brilliant blend of commonsense, encouragement and understanding – plus a highly logical strategy that is easy to implement – changed hell into heaven literally overnight. My entire family is thus indebted to Mandy and her team.
Freya North, Author
I am a GP and would recommend Millpond to any sleep deprived parents; you cannot put a price on sleep. Thank you so much. I only wish I hadn’t waited 19 months.
Vanessa, GP
We are so happy that we put our trust in you to help us with what has been a huge problem for our family for almost 2 years. We are finding time to relax and time for each other and I did not realise how much we missed this time.
Ben
As a family, we were sleep deprived. The tailored plan for our son made it personal. I am really pleased with what we’ve achieved during the programme and I am thankful to Juliet and Millpond.
Evrim.
We were at rock bottom. Our son has a neurological condition, so I was nervous and and wanted a sleep clinic who had experience of this and would adapt to the needs of our son. Our lives literally changed overnight!
Shurron
Within weeks our son was waking only once a night. The investment we made into Millpond was one of the best we’ve ever made. It gave my son a solid night sleep and consistency. It gave me and my husband our sanity back.
Shurron
I am delighted. I was aiming to go from 6+ wakes at night and feeding to sleep 100% of the time to 1-2 wake ups and some ability to self-settle. After doing the plan for less than 6 weeks my daughter started sleeping through the night.
Katie
My daughter is now having quite a bit more than the average sleep for her age and it’s lovely to see her waking up naturally. I’m also waking up naturally and feeling much more refreshed for having a regular sleep routine myself!
Louise
We are so happy we could jump for joy, we wish we had spoken to you ages ago. Using Millpond has built our confidence and made us feel on top of it at last. You really gave us some life back!
Sarah
I live in Switzerland so it is really quite remarkable that Millpond was able to help me over the phone and by email. When you have slept you can deal with anything!!
Melanie
We still can’t believe that such small changes have made such a difference to us and Alice. She has even slept through while on holiday in a travel cot.
Louise
We are just so sorry we did not get in touch sooner as we went through 18 months of no sleep.
Ann Marie
Thank you, thank you, thank you!! We never thought life could be improved so greatly. You showed us the light. Luka is much happier and loving his sleep now.!
Diane
Alex is sleeping beautifully again and is now quite happy to lay in his cot singing until 7.30/745 am ( Godsend!) and sleeps very happily through the night again. Thank you so much!
Sandy
Very happy to say that Joshua, who you helped us with, is now sleeping a regular 11 hours a night uninterrupted. In fact, getting him up some mornings is a real challenge!
John
Mandy has been an absolute saviour at a time which was starting to feel quite bleak in terms of our little one’s sleep. The personalised advice and guidance has been invaluable.
Mary
“My husband and I reached out to the Millpond Sleep Clinic when our son was 10 months old. We had spent months in vain trying a variety of sleep training tips that we had picked up online, in a desperate attempt to get our son to sleep for more than 2 hour stretches! Nothing seemed to work. I remember crying whilst breastfeeding for the 5th time one evening, desperately begging my little one to sleep. We felt like we had been failing for a long time, as my circle of mum friends had all got their babies sleeping through so much earlier. I needed to get more sleep, with the return to work looming ever closer.

When we called Millpond, we were quickly introduced to Juliet who immediately took the pressure off us by providing a detailed “plan of action” based on what she had heard about our son’s sleep routine. After just a few nights, we already started to see big sleep improvements, and we worked confidently towards reducing our son’s night wakings and the duration of his night feeds. After a couple of weeks we had gone from 4-5 night wakings to just 1… and a few weeks later, our son started to sleep through! The biggest relief ever.

Throughout the whole process Juliet had been knowledgeable, kind, reassuring and made herself available to answer our questions over email between our sessions. Her experience as a mother herself, and highly trained sleep professional shone through. We can’t thank you enough for helping us through a rough time – and seeing us through to better days (and importantly, nights!!)
Cheryl