How stress impact sleep

Helping Your Child Overcome Bedtime Anxiety with Relaxation Techniques

Bedtime should be a calm and comforting experience for both parents and children, but for many children struggling with bedtime anxiety, it can feel overwhelming. Racing thoughts, nighttime worries, and separation anxiety can make it hard for children to relax and fall asleep, leading to bedtime resistance and overtired, stressed-out families by the end of the evening.

The good news? Gentle relaxation techniques—such as deep breathing exercises, guided visualisation, and progressive muscle relaxation—can help reduce anxiety at bedtime and create a soothing sleep routine that helps your child feel safe and ready for sleep.

In this post, I’ll explore bedtime relaxation techniques designed to ease nighttime anxiety, promote calmness, and support healthy sleep habits for children.

Deep breathing for relaxation – the 3-4-5 breathing pattern:

One effective approach is to practice deep breathing exercises with your child. Guide them to take slow, deep breaths: inhale through their nose for a count of three, hold their breath for a count of four, and then exhale slowly through their mouth for a count of five. This rhythmic breathing can help calm their nervous system and promote a sense of tranquillity.

Stretch and Relax

Another technique is progressive muscle relaxation. This involves instructing your child to tense and then relax different muscle groups in their body, starting from their toes and working their way up to their head. For example, they can clench their fists tightly and then release, noticing how their hands feel when relaxed. This method not only helps alleviate physical tension but also diverts their attention from anxious thoughts.

Guided visualisation exercises for bedtime anxiety can help children feel calm and ready for sleep:

Visualisation exercises can be very helpful. Encourage your child to close their eyes and imagine a peaceful place, such as a beach or a forest. They should use all their senses to create a vivid mental picture. By describing the sights, sounds, and smells of their chosen sanctuary, they can escape from anxious feelings and promote relaxation.

The Cognitive Shuffle:

The Cognitive Shuffle is a technique designed to distract the brain from anxious or racing thoughts by focusing on random, non-stressful mental imagery instead. This mimics the relaxed, disorganised thinking that naturally occurs as your child drifts into sleep.

How to Practice the Cognitive Shuffle:

Pick a Word: Choose a simple word, like “bed,” “beach,” or “apple.”
Think of Random Words: For each letter in the word, think of as many unrelated things as possible.
- Example: For “bed,” think banana, ball, butterfly, basket…
Visualise: Picture each word in your mind, imagining its shape, colour, or how it looks.

If your child’s mind starts to wander, they should simply return to their chosen word and continue thinking of random things.

This method can be an effective way to ease bedtime anxiety and help children transition into sleep more smoothly.

Mindfulness:

Finally, introducing mindfulness practices tailored for children, such as simple meditation or guided imagery, can also be highly effective. There are many resources available, including apps and books specifically designed for young audiences that lead them through these calming practices.

Choosing a relaxation technique for your child:

Choose which technique you think would be most suitable for your child and try it with them for a week or two. If that particular relaxation technique doesn’t suit them, you could then try a different option. When you find the one that best suits your child, you should find bedtime becomes more enjoyable for you all, see a reduction in their anxiety and an enhanced quality of sleep.

Please remember to check out my bedtime routine guidelines, as a calm focused leadup to sleep is a vital part of this process.

In my blogs in this series, I will explore:

Struggling with your child’s bedtime anxiety? Book a personalised sleep consultation today and help your child develop healthy sleep habits for life. We’ve helped hundreds of families navigate bedtime anxiety, and we’re here to help you too.

Written by Mandy Gurney February 2025

Stress and Sleep

April marks Stress Awareness Month, and it’s time to draw attention to the subtle yet widespread influence that stress can exert on our lives.

The Vicious Cycle

One of the most underhand ways stress impacts our well-being is through its disruption of our sleep patterns, but what makes the relationship between stress and sleep even more challenging is the existence of a vicious cycle.

Poor sleep heightens stress levels, leading to increased difficulty managing stress the following day. This cyclical pattern perpetuates a spiral, with stress and sleep problems feeding into each other.

By understanding the interaction between stress and sleep and implementing strategies to improve both, for Stress Awareness Month, let’s prioritise self-care and cultivate a healthy balance between stress management and restorative sleep for a happier, healthier life.

Why Do We Need Sleep?

Sleep shouldn’t be taken for granted or seen as a treat—it’s a core element of our human biology. Research supports the theory that sleep isn’t just vital for our physical health but also our mental well-being. Insufficient or poor-quality sleep has been linked to a range of issues such as heightened negative emotional responses to stressors and a decrease in positive emotions.

While we’re continuing to explore how sleep influences mental health, what’s clear is that sleep is central to numerous functions in our brain and body.

It’s vital to how we process daily experiences, manage our emotions, and guide our behaviour. When we lack sleep, essential cognitive functions like attention, learning, and memory are compromised. Lack of quality sleep means even minor stressors can cause us to have overly reactive temperaments, going from zero to one hundred in seconds.

Poor sleep quality and quantity can increase the risk of developing mental health disorders. While insomnia can be a sign of psychiatric conditions such as anxiety and depression, recent research indicates that sleep disturbances can also fuel the onset and exacerbation of various mental health challenges, including depression, anxiety, and even thoughts of self-harm.

Research on sleep deprivation indicates that individuals who are otherwise healthy often experience heightened levels of anxiety and distress following nights of poor sleep. For those already struggling with mental health issues, the risk of chronic sleep problems can heighten psychiatric symptoms and increase the risk of suicidal thoughts.

Breaking the Cycle: Strategies for Better Sleep

Fortunately, there are steps we can take to mitigate the impact of stress on our sleep and break free from this detrimental cycle.

Establish a Relaxing Bedtime Routine:

Engage in calming activities before bed, such as reading, yoga, simple stretches or practising relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation, have been shown to improve sleep quality.

Follow this with a warm relaxing bath. The cooling effect of coming out of a warm bath about an hour before sleep mimics the cooling effect of the sun going down in the evening, helping to stimulate the production of melatonin.

Create a Sleep-Conducive Environment:

Ensure your bedroom is conducive to sleep by keeping it dark, quiet, and cool. Invest in a comfortable mattress and pillows to optimise sleep quality.

Limit Your Screen Time:

Minimise exposure to screens (phones, computers, TVs) at least an hour before bedtime. Not only because the blue light emitted can interfere with the production of melatonin, but seeing or reading content or messages that are upsetting or anxiety-provoking, unsurprisingly, will disrupt our sleep. Even content that’s thought-provoking positively could send your thoughts off in other directions, away from sleep.

Stress Management Strategies:

Incorporate stress-management techniques into your daily routine, such as regular exercise, spending time in nature, engaging in hobbies, or seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional.

Seek Professional Help if Needed:

If stress and sleep problems persist despite self-care efforts, don’t hesitate to seek guidance from a healthcare provider. They can offer personalised recommendations and interventions to address underlying issues.

This was written by Mandy Gurney RGN.RM.DipHV

Relaxation techniques to help your child with bedtime anxiety