We asked our friends at The Parent Practice the question all parents would like to know – “How do I get my children to do what I ask?”. Â Â Read their amazing tips:
How many times have you asked your children to do something â put the milk back in the fridge, hang up a wet towel, brush their hair ⊠the first response youâll hear back could be any of the following ⊠âjust a secâ, âI already did itâ – as the milk remains on the counter, the un-brushed breath still horrendous!  The truth is that when we ask our children to do something, we have an underlying expectation:
I expect that she will do it –
IMMEDIATELY
THE WAY I WANT HER TO DO IT
EVERY SINGLE TIME
FULL OF GRATITUDE THAT SHE WAS ASKED IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Now, letâs say, youâre getting dinner ready and your child calls down for help with homework. What is your likely first response? Iâm just guessing that itâs not to put everything on hold and race upstairs. Youâre more likely to shout up a âJust a minuteâ or âBe there in a secâ. We are just as unlikely to drop all that weâre doing â the important things on our own agendas â and immediately run and do what has been asked of us (unless it is a serious emergency).
Itâs just the same with our children. Our children also have their own agendas. They have their heads in a good book, or that Lego construction is almost complete, the puzzle only has 5 more pieces to go, theyâve nearly finished that level of Minecraft ⊠and we jump in and expect that they will drop everything and happily do exactly what weâve asked, to our standards!
Now, Iâm not suggesting for a second that our children donât have to do what is required. There is however, a really great way to ensure that it gets done in a positive way ⊠without the nagging, cajoling and shouting ⊠and in just three easy steps! These steps assume that your child has a clear understanding of your family rules and knows what is required of them.  Letâs say one of your rules is âDinner is at 6 pm.â
Step One:  Go to your child. Rather than shouting from one room (or floor) to another. This is a no brainer ⊠especially as your children might not hear you otherwise. You save yourself the frustration of shouting.  Engage with them in whatever it is that theyâre doing. âWhat are you reading?â âWhere are you up to?â âWow, youâre almost finished the whole puzzle!â âI canât believe you got so much of the Hogwarts set builtâ, âThat game looks amazingâ.
Step Two:  Give the instruction. Itâs 6 oâclock. You know what that means, right? Thatâs right ⊠dinner! And youâve looked at me âthank you. Two more pieces and we need to go.  Ask them to tell you what they have to do.
Step Three:  Follow through. Stay in their space and acknowledge small steps in the right direction. Empathise with any resistance that comes up.
It IS possible! I used it just tonight as my daughter was next door, drawing with her friend. I went to her, had a look at what she was drawing, told her that it was 6 pm and that dinner was on the table. She asked if she could go back after dinner. I told her that as she was already heading to the door of course she could go back!
