Archives for September 2015

Overcoming Bedtime Fears: Henry’s Journey with Bear Anxiety

Henry was scared of bears

Anxiety at Bedtime – Henry was scared of bears

Henry’s mum tells his story:

Three year old Henry was scared of bears.  His anxiety about bears was waking him up multiple times in the middle of the night and he was also taking a considerable time to go back to sleep.

I have never tolerated disturbances at night so responded by doing the controlled crying technique, which has always been successful in the past.  On this occasion it made his anxiety so much worse and we got to a stage where he could not be in a separate room from me during the day. We were all tired and cranky during as a result.

Mandy was hugely supportive at getting me to use the gradual retreat approach and helped me create a sleep fairy for Henry with realistic goals that he could achieve.  The anxiety gradually disappeared.

Now if he wakes in the night he goes back to sleep immediately!

So much better!

Four year old Alfie was awake for hours at night

 

Alfie 4 years old
Four year old Alfie

 

Alfie was awake for hours at night

Before I got in touch with Millpond four year old Alfie could not self settle at bedtime.  Myself or husband would have to lie with him until he fell to sleep and he would wake multiple times in the night and be awake for hours.

He didn’t go to sleep much before 9 pm leaving no quality time for myself or husband; as soon as Alfie was asleep we’d go to bed ourselves.

Alfie would wake up every single night, sometimes twice, sometimes 4/5 times.  Alfie would be awake for anywhere between 10 minutes and 2 hours, even waking at 3.30/4.30 and not going back to sleep.

Alfie has learnt to settle himself to bed

Then I got in touch with Millpond and everything changed.

Alfie now goes to sleep by himself, usually around 7.20 pm and sleeps ALL night on his own till 6.30 am!

Our lives have totally changed.  I am no longer a walking zombie whose days go by in a hazy, grumpy, blur.  The whole household is happier, calmer, less stressed and I am thoroughly enjoying my time with Alfie instead of being too tired or grumpy to enjoy our time together.  Alfie is happier; he’s in a great routine and has embraced the whole experience.

I’d recommend Millpond to anybody who is having sleep problems with their child, because the time spent with our children is truly precious and to not enjoy it because of sleep deprivation is such a shame.  My only regret….that I didn’t contact Millpond sooner!  The help and support I received from Juliet was amazing, she kept me going giving me help and advice and praise whenever I needed it.

She’s truly my little sleep fairy and I’ll always be thankful to her and Millpond for how much they have improved our lives 🙂

BIG THANKS TO YOU ALL

 

How to get your children to do what you ask of them

We asked our friends at The Parent Practice the question all parents would like to know – “How do I get my children to do what I ask?”.   Read their amazing tips:
parent practice blog
How many times have you asked your children to do something – put the milk back in the fridge, hang up a wet towel, brush their hair … the first response you’ll hear back could be any of the following … ‘just a sec’, ‘I already did it’  – as the milk remains on the counter, the un-brushed breath still horrendous!  The truth is that when we ask our children to do something, we have an underlying expectation:

I expect that she will do it –

IMMEDIATELY

THE WAY I WANT HER TO DO IT

EVERY SINGLE TIME

FULL OF GRATITUDE THAT SHE WAS ASKED IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Now, let’s say, you’re getting dinner ready and your child calls down for help with homework.  What is your likely first response?  I’m just guessing that it’s not to put everything on hold and race upstairs.  You’re more likely to shout up a ‘Just a minute’ or ‘Be there in a sec”.  We are just as unlikely to drop all that we’re doing – the important things on our own agendas – and immediately run and do what has been asked of us (unless it is a serious emergency).

It’s just the same with our children.  Our children also have their own agendas.  They have their heads in a good book, or that Lego construction is almost complete, the puzzle only has 5 more pieces to go, they’ve nearly finished that level of Minecraft … and we jump in and expect that they will drop everything and happily do exactly what we’ve asked, to our standards!

Now, I’m not suggesting for a second that our children don’t have to do what is required.  There is however, a really great way to ensure that it gets done in a positive way … without the nagging, cajoling and shouting … and in just three easy steps!  These steps assume that your child has a clear understanding of your family rules and knows what is required of them.   Let’s say one of your rules is ‘Dinner is at 6 pm.’

Step One:  Go to your child. Rather than shouting from one room (or floor) to another. This is a no brainer … especially as your children might not hear you otherwise.  You save yourself the frustration of shouting.  Engage with them in whatever it is that they’re doing.  ‘What are you reading?’ ‘Where are you up to?’ ‘Wow, you’re almost finished the whole puzzle!’ ‘I can’t believe you got so much of the Hogwarts set built’, ‘That game looks amazing’.

Step Two:  Give the instruction. It’s 6 o’clock.  You know what that means, right?  That’s right … dinner!  And you’ve looked at me –thank you.  Two more pieces and we need to go.  Ask them to tell you what they have to do.

Step Three:  Follow through.  Stay in their space and acknowledge small steps in the right direction. Empathise with any resistance that comes up.

It IS possible!  I used it just tonight as my daughter was next door, drawing with her friend.  I went to her, had a look at what she was drawing, told her that it was 6 pm and that dinner was on the table.  She asked if she could go back after dinner.  I told her that as she was already heading to the door of course she could go back!

Three easy steps!  Give it a go!

Get your child’s sleep on track after the holidays

 

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The summer holidays are rapidly coming to an end, which could signal a few tears of sadness for some parents or for others a sigh of relief. But however we feel the start of the new term is almost upon us. So how do you get your children’s sleep back and track and avoid those morning meltdowns and hideous bedtimes come September?

We tell you how…….

 Don’t leave it ‘til the last minute:

Two or three weeks before the new term date start to put your child to bed earlier by 15 minutes.

  • Repeat this new time for 2 to 3 days
  • At the same time wake them 15 minutes earlier every 2 to 3 days
  • Repeat this pattern until you reach the time that is right for their child’s morning start time.
  • Children should be falling asleep within 15 minutes – if it’s taking much longer just slow down the changes and move bedtime 15 minutes earlier weekly rather than every 3 days.


The morning is just as important:

  • Morning is when we reset our body clock so it’s very important children are woken at the same time each day. A big dose of light will help to get your child up and running, so open the curtains straightaway. Light suppresses melatonin – the hormone that makes us feel sleepy.

If having done all of these things you are having problems with your child’s sleep please get in touch.
You can speak to one of our sleep therapists today for a free sleep assessment.
Call us on 0208 444 0040

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