Anxiety Sleep Problems In Children: Causes

February 21, 2025

Is Your Child’s Sleep Struggle a Sign of Anxiety?

As parents, it can be tough to know whether your child’s sleep troubles are just a phase or part of a bigger issue—like anxiety. Occasional restless nights are normal, but if sleep disruptions become persistent, anxiety could be playing a role.

Here’s how you can identify if your child’s sleep struggles are linked to anxiety and what you can do to help.

Signs That Anxiety Might Be Affecting Your Child’s Sleep

Worry-Filled Bedtimes

Does your child seem particularly anxious as bedtime approaches? If they frequently express fears—whether about the dark, being alone, or an upcoming event—these worries could be keeping them from settling down to sleep.

Anxiety During the Day

Sleep troubles are often just one part of the puzzle. If your child seems overly worried and follows you around the home, even if you’re just answering the door or getting a cuppa. If they won’t spend any time in their bedroom during the day unless you’re with them. If they’re irritable, restless, or have trouble concentrating during the day, their anxiety may not be limited to bedtime.

Frequent Requests for Reassurance

Children struggling with anxiety may ask repeatedly for reassurance about their safety at night. They might insist on sleeping with a parent, leave their bed multiple times, or make frequent excuses and delay bedtime with questions e.g., “What’s the solar system?” or “Why did the dinosaurs die out?”

Physical Complaints at Night

Anxiety can manifest as physical symptoms. If your child often complains of stomach aches, headaches, or other discomforts right before bedtime, it could be a sign of underlying anxiety rather than a physical illness.

Struggling Even in a Comfortable Sleep Environment

A quiet, dark, and cosy bedroom is ideal for sleep. But if your child continues to have difficulty sleeping despite a well-set-up sleep environment, anxiety may be interfering.

Exhaustion and Daytime Impact

If your child’s sleep struggles are leading to daytime fatigue, difficulty concentrating, or losing interest in activities they usually enjoy, it’s important to dig deeper into the root cause.

Recent Changes or Stressful Events

Has your child recently experienced a big change—like moving house, starting a new school, or a family transition such as divorce or a new sibling? Significant life events –“Life Quakes” can heighten anxiety, making it harder to sleep.

How Parents Can Help

If you suspect your child’s sleep struggles are linked to anxiety, there are steps you can take to support them:

Create a Calm Bedtime Routine – Gentle activities like reading, soft music, or a few minutes of quiet conversation before they start getting ready for bed can help ease bedtime stress.
Encourage Open Conversations – Let your child talk about their worries. Set aside some time every evening that’s special 1:1 time with you to give them a chance to discuss their concerns. Giving space to their thoughts earlier in the evening means they’ve been aired and given time now, rather than when your child is tucked up in bed. Reassure them that feeling anxious is normal, and help them find ways to manage those feelings.

Teach Relaxation Techniques – Deep breathing, guided imagery, or progressive muscle relaxation can help children unwind before bed. See my blog on relaxation techniques that can help children with bedtime anxiety
Limit Screen Time Before Bed – The alerting effect from using phones and handheld devices can disrupt sleep and increase anxious feelings. Try switching to calming activities an hour before bedtime. See my blog on the impact of screens on your child’s sleep.
Seek Professional Support if Needed – If sleep troubles persist and anxiety is significantly affecting your child’s daily life, a paediatrician or child psychologist can provide valuable guidance and support.

Additional Support for Parents

If your child continues to struggle with sleep due to anxiety, consider looking into:

Parenting workshops on anxiety and sleep
Books and resources on childhood anxiety
Support groups for parents
Sleep consultations with professionals who specialise in children’s sleep

In my series of blogs, I will explore:

If your child’s sleep struggles are linked to anxiety, you’re not alone—many families face the same challenge. With the right support, your child can develop healthy sleep habits and feel more secure at night. We’ve helped hundreds of families navigate bedtime anxiety, and we’re here to help you too.

Please get in touch today to find out how we can support your child’s journey to better sleep

Written by Mandy Gurney February 2025

February 21, 2025

Relaxation techniques to help your child with bedtime anxiety

Helping Your Child Overcome Bedtime Anxiety with Relaxation Techniques

Bedtime should be a calm and comforting experience for both parents and children, but for many children struggling with bedtime anxiety, it can feel overwhelming. Racing thoughts, nighttime worries, and separation anxiety can make it hard for children to relax and fall asleep, leading to bedtime resistance and overtired, stressed-out families by the end of the evening.

The good news? Gentle relaxation techniques—such as deep breathing exercises, guided visualisation, and progressive muscle relaxation—can help reduce anxiety at bedtime and create a soothing sleep routine that helps your child feel safe and ready for sleep.

In this post, I’ll explore bedtime relaxation techniques designed to ease nighttime anxiety, promote calmness, and support healthy sleep habits for children.

Deep breathing for relaxation – the 3-4-5 breathing pattern:

One effective approach is to practice deep breathing exercises with your child. Guide them to take slow, deep breaths: inhale through their nose for a count of three, hold their breath for a count of four, and then exhale slowly through their mouth for a count of five. This rhythmic breathing can help calm their nervous system and promote a sense of tranquillity.

Stretch and Relax

Another technique is progressive muscle relaxation. This involves instructing your child to tense and then relax different muscle groups in their body, starting from their toes and working their way up to their head. For example, they can clench their fists tightly and then release, noticing how their hands feel when relaxed. This method not only helps alleviate physical tension but also diverts their attention from anxious thoughts.

Guided visualisation exercises for bedtime anxiety can help children feel calm and ready for sleep:

Visualisation exercises can be very helpful. Encourage your child to close their eyes and imagine a peaceful place, such as a beach or a forest. They should use all their senses to create a vivid mental picture. By describing the sights, sounds, and smells of their chosen sanctuary, they can escape from anxious feelings and promote relaxation.

The Cognitive Shuffle:

The Cognitive Shuffle is a technique designed to distract the brain from anxious or racing thoughts by focusing on random, non-stressful mental imagery instead. This mimics the relaxed, disorganised thinking that naturally occurs as your child drifts into sleep.

How to Practice the Cognitive Shuffle:

Pick a Word: Choose a simple word, like “bed,” “beach,” or “apple.”
Think of Random Words: For each letter in the word, think of as many unrelated things as possible.
- Example: For “bed,” think banana, ball, butterfly, basket…
Visualise: Picture each word in your mind, imagining its shape, colour, or how it looks.

If your child’s mind starts to wander, they should simply return to their chosen word and continue thinking of random things.

This method can be an effective way to ease bedtime anxiety and help children transition into sleep more smoothly.

Mindfulness:

Finally, introducing mindfulness practices tailored for children, such as simple meditation or guided imagery, can also be highly effective. There are many resources available, including apps and books specifically designed for young audiences that lead them through these calming practices.

Choosing a relaxation technique for your child:

Choose which technique you think would be most suitable for your child and try it with them for a week or two. If that particular relaxation technique doesn’t suit them, you could then try a different option. When you find the one that best suits your child, you should find bedtime becomes more enjoyable for you all, see a reduction in their anxiety and an enhanced quality of sleep.

Please remember to check out my bedtime routine guidelines, as a calm focused leadup to sleep is a vital part of this process.

In my blogs in this series, I will explore:

Struggling with your child’s bedtime anxiety? Book a personalised sleep consultation today and help your child develop healthy sleep habits for life. We’ve helped hundreds of families navigate bedtime anxiety, and we’re here to help you too.

Written by Mandy Gurney February 2025

February 21, 2025

What causes worries or anxiety at bedtime?

There are numerous causes of anxiety in children that can impact negatively on their sleep. These include long-term unresolved sleep issues, overthinking or over-worrying, experiencing vivid and scary nightmares, fear of the dark and monsters, starting nursery or school, and “Life-Quakes” such as family breakdowns, illness and bereavement.

Older school-aged children who struggle to sleep are often perfectionists and academic high achievers. They find themselves in a vicious cycle where they worry about how lack of sleep will affect their work, which stops them from falling asleep and in turn leads to negative thoughts or even fears about sleep itself.

Children with autism and ADHD may have more bedtime anxieties than their peers; bedtime can be particularly challenging for children with ADHD who often have difficulties quietening their racing minds.

A typical bedtime for a child with sleep anxiety

Children with anxiety at bedtime often struggle to fall asleep and can lie awake for hours. They can reappear numerous times in the evening with excuses such as being hungry, thirsty, too hot, too cold or needling the toilet. You take them back to bed, but in no time at all, they are back with more excuses. This process happens night after night leading to cross and stressed parents and an even more anxious child; you all dread bedtime!

You eventually find yourself getting into your child’s bed just to get them to sleep and then in the night they wake and seek you out again to help them get back to sleep. The perfect recipe for a tired and stressed family!

Have a stress-free bedtime that helps your child sleep well

Starting your child’s bedtime routine

About an hour before your child goes to sleep have quiet time. Tidy away the toys and turn off all screens. Research has shown light from computers, iPads etc. can interfere with the production of the sleep hormone melatonin.

“Talking time”

This is the time to set aside 10 to 15 minutes of one-on-one calming and quiet time with your child. Ensure you put your phone away and make sure you have nothing else you need to do at this point so you can give your child your undivided attention. At Millpond we often call this “Talking Time”.
This will give your child the space to discuss any worries or fears they may have and just as importantly means they are less likely to need to bring them up just before you say goodnight.
If your child doesn’t have anything specific they wish to discuss, as an alternative you could help set a positive tone by discussing 3 positive things about that day. If possible try and find new things each evening. Your child may like to write them in a notepad that you keep just for bedtime.

Get your routine right so your child settles to sleep calmly and happily.

Initially focus the bedtime routine around the time your child naturally falls asleep; even if this seems late.
For example, if your child usually falls asleep at 10.00 pm start your routine at 9.15 pm. This way you are allowing 30 minutes for the routine and 15 minutes for them to fall asleep.
Carry out the same steps every night – make this routine your bedtime routine. Having a routine means your child’s body will start to prepare for sleep as soon as you start this process.
If your child is falling asleep well in 15 minutes, after a few nights, start your bedtime routine 15 minutes earlier. Repeat this pattern, slowly advancing the start time of your routine until you reach the time that works best for your child.

Have a warm relaxing bath.

Have a warm, relaxing bath lasting no longer than 10 minutes. Keeping the bath to a maximum of 10 minutes means bath time doesn’t become a stimulating playtime. The bonus is coming out of the warm water allows the body to cool quickly triggering the sleep hormone melatonin.
Then go straight into your child’s bedroom; going back into the living area at this time will lose the focus and magic of the routine.

Dim the lights.

Pre-dim the lights in their bedroom, as this will also help with melatonin production. If your child is scared of the dark and requests you leave a light on it’s best to have one that emits a warm amber or orange glow. Turn it on at bedtime and leave it on all night. The warm low-level light will not interfere with their sleep and will offer them the reassurance they need.

Dress for bed.

Have their night clothes ready for their return from the bathroom so they can quickly get dressed and climb into bed.

It’s time for a bedtime story.

Even if your child can read to themselves, read a quiet calming story and have a cuddle and kiss goodnight then tuck them in with their favourite soft toy so they are warm and cosy.
Now that they’re drowsy, leave the bedroom so that they learn to fall asleep independently.

Your child wants you to stay with them while they go to sleep.

Your child may only be able to fall asleep happily if you stay with them. If this is the case you can help build your child’s confidence in falling asleep independently by implementing a slow gradual retreat programme at bedtime.
If you are currently sitting by the side of your child’s bed as they go to sleep, start by sitting just a little further away. Reassure them that you will wait for them to be fully asleep before you leave their bedroom. After 3 to 4 nights, move just a little further away from their bedside; you may only move a foot at a time.
Keep repeating this process very slowly moving in small incremental steps until you are out of their room and then along the landing as they go to sleep.
This process should take about two or three weeks to achieve.

In my series of blogs, I will explore:

Please get in touch today to find out how we can support your child’s journey to better sleep

Written by Mandy Gurney February 2025

December 4, 2024

Why Your School-Aged Child Struggles with Sleep & How to Fix It

Is Your Child Getting Enough Sleep?

Does your child struggle to fall asleep and your whole evening is taken up with bedtime? Do they wake frequently during the night, or wake up far too early? You’re not alone.

Sleep issues in school-aged children (ages 5–12) are more common than many parents realise—and they can significantly impact a child’s mood, learning, and overall health.

The good news? With the right support, you can help your child develop healthy sleep habits and get the rest they need to thrive.

In this post, we’ll explore why school-aged children often struggle with sleep and how a professional sleep consultation can offer practical solutions.

Common Sleep Issues in School-Aged Children

Many children face sleep challenges that affect their ability to function during the day. Here are some of the most common problems:

Difficulty Falling Asleep

Bedtime battles can be triggered by anxiety, school-related worries, or simply an inability to wind down after a busy day. (Learn more about anxiety and sleep issues)

Night Waking

Waking frequently during the night can be caused by nightmares, bedwetting, or environmental factors such as noise or changes in temperature.

Early Waking

Does your child wake up at 5 a.m. ready to start the day? Early waking often leads to insufficient sleep, which affects their mood and energy levels.

Daytime Fatigue and Lack of Focus

Children who don’t get enough sleep often struggle to concentrate in school, leading to lower academic performance and emotional outbursts.

How Poor Sleep Affects Your Child

Sleep deprivation can have serious consequences for school-aged children, including:

Academic Challenges: Poor sleep reduces memory retention, focus, and problem-solving abilities, making it harder to keep up in school.
Behavioural Issues: Sleep-deprived children are more likely to experience irritability, hyperactivity, or emotional meltdowns.
Physical Health: Insufficient sleep can weaken the immune system and increase the risk of obesity and other health problems.

Learn more about the connection between sleep and school performance on our [Sleep and Learning] page.

How a Sleep Consultation Can Help Your Family

At Millpond Children’s Sleep Clinic, we fully understand how frustrating sleep problems can be—for both you and your child. That’s why we offer personalised sleep consultations designed to meet the unique needs of each family.

Here’s how we can help:

Tailored Sleep Plans:

We assess your child’s sleep challenges and create a bespoke plan to improve their sleep routine.
Expert Guidance:

With over 30 years of experience in children’s sleep consulting, we offer practical, evidence-based solutions that work. Learn more about us.
Ongoing Support:

We provide unlimited follow-up email support and consultations to ensure your child’s progress continues and that any setbacks are addressed quickly.

Why Parents in the UK Trust Millpond

We’ve helped thousands of families across the UK overcome sleep difficulties. Here’s what one parent had to say:

“We were at our wit’s end with our 7-year-old daughter’s constant getting up at bedtime and taking hours to fall asleep. It was extremely stressful for us and her and we all dreaded bedtime. Millpond’s personalised approach changed everything. Our daughter now goes to bed happily, falls asleep easily by herself, and we finally have our evenings back!” – Katie-Suffolk

Ready to Help Your Child Sleep Better?

If your child is struggling with sleep, don’t wait for the problem to resolve itself. A professional sleep consultation can make all the difference.

Book your consultation with Millpond Children’s Sleep Clinic today and take the first step towards better sleep and brighter days.

[Book Now]

For more on children’s sleep problems and recommendations, visit the NHS’s guide to sleep for children

April 10, 2024

Why Stress Is the Silent Enemy of Your Sleep

Stress and Sleep

April marks Stress Awareness Month, and it’s time to draw attention to the subtle yet widespread influence that stress can exert on our lives.

The Vicious Cycle

One of the most underhand ways stress impacts our well-being is through its disruption of our sleep patterns, but what makes the relationship between stress and sleep even more challenging is the existence of a vicious cycle.

Poor sleep heightens stress levels, leading to increased difficulty managing stress the following day. This cyclical pattern perpetuates a spiral, with stress and sleep problems feeding into each other.

By understanding the interaction between stress and sleep and implementing strategies to improve both, for Stress Awareness Month, let’s prioritise self-care and cultivate a healthy balance between stress management and restorative sleep for a happier, healthier life.

Why Do We Need Sleep?

Sleep shouldn’t be taken for granted or seen as a treat—it’s a core element of our human biology. Research supports the theory that sleep isn’t just vital for our physical health but also our mental well-being. Insufficient or poor-quality sleep has been linked to a range of issues such as heightened negative emotional responses to stressors and a decrease in positive emotions.

While we’re continuing to explore how sleep influences mental health, what’s clear is that sleep is central to numerous functions in our brain and body.

It’s vital to how we process daily experiences, manage our emotions, and guide our behaviour. When we lack sleep, essential cognitive functions like attention, learning, and memory are compromised. Lack of quality sleep means even minor stressors can cause us to have overly reactive temperaments, going from zero to one hundred in seconds.

Poor sleep quality and quantity can increase the risk of developing mental health disorders. While insomnia can be a sign of psychiatric conditions such as anxiety and depression, recent research indicates that sleep disturbances can also fuel the onset and exacerbation of various mental health challenges, including depression, anxiety, and even thoughts of self-harm.

Research on sleep deprivation indicates that individuals who are otherwise healthy often experience heightened levels of anxiety and distress following nights of poor sleep. For those already struggling with mental health issues, the risk of chronic sleep problems can heighten psychiatric symptoms and increase the risk of suicidal thoughts.

Breaking the Cycle: Strategies for Better Sleep

Fortunately, there are steps we can take to mitigate the impact of stress on our sleep and break free from this detrimental cycle.

Establish a Relaxing Bedtime Routine:

Engage in calming activities before bed, such as reading, yoga, simple stretches or practising relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation, have been shown to improve sleep quality.

Follow this with a warm relaxing bath. The cooling effect of coming out of a warm bath about an hour before sleep mimics the cooling effect of the sun going down in the evening, helping to stimulate the production of melatonin.

Create a Sleep-Conducive Environment:

Ensure your bedroom is conducive to sleep by keeping it dark, quiet, and cool. Invest in a comfortable mattress and pillows to optimise sleep quality.

Limit Your Screen Time:

Minimise exposure to screens (phones, computers, TVs) at least an hour before bedtime. Not only because the blue light emitted can interfere with the production of melatonin, but seeing or reading content or messages that are upsetting or anxiety-provoking, unsurprisingly, will disrupt our sleep. Even content that’s thought-provoking positively could send your thoughts off in other directions, away from sleep.

Stress Management Strategies:

Incorporate stress-management techniques into your daily routine, such as regular exercise, spending time in nature, engaging in hobbies, or seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional.

Seek Professional Help if Needed:

If stress and sleep problems persist despite self-care efforts, don’t hesitate to seek guidance from a healthcare provider. They can offer personalised recommendations and interventions to address underlying issues.

This was written by Mandy Gurney RGN.RM.DipHV

February 14, 2024

Unveiling the Relationship Between Neurodiversity and Children’s Sleep

Having a child with sleep difficulties is exhausting, but as a parent of a child with neurodiversities your child is more likely to be struggling with their sleep! Research shows about 80% of children with autism have problems sleeping.

Why your child may be struggling with their sleep

Children with autism often have difficulties winding down and going to sleep. They may repeatedly get out of bed and refuse to go to sleep unless you are close by.
They may also have problems staying asleep and be awake for many hours during the night, perhaps coming into your room or going to other parts of your home.
They often find it hard to relax and can have high levels of anxiety, meaning emotional upsets at bedtime and taking a long time to go to sleep.
Social cueing difficulties can mean your child finds it hard to make connections in terms of pre bedtime activities and understanding that it’s bedtime. They may have developed a series of nightly rituals and routines that potentially delay bedtime.
They can have a poor concept of time and not realise it’s bedtime or recognise tired signs.
Research shows many children with autism have irregular secretion of the sleep hormone melatonin, impacting their ability to go to sleep.
Your child may have sensory difficulties such as sensitivities to smells, sounds, touch and light that could prevent them both falling asleep and staying asleep.
They may also have medical conditions affecting their sleep such as sleep apnoea, epilepsy, restless leg syndrome, allergies and gastrointestinal problems such as reflux.

What can you do to help your child sleep?

As most child sleep problems are multifaceted it will help you get a good understanding of your child’s sleeping pattern by filling in a sleep diary for a week or two. This information could also be invaluable when discussing your child’s sleep with health professionals.
A visit to your GP may be needed to explore underlying medical concerns, as well as a possible referral to a dietician.
Review your child’s sugar and food to ensure they are having sleep inducing foods rather than high sugar snacks in the evening.
To help your child understand sleep and the steps of their bedtime routine, visual aids showing their bedtime routine in picture form can really help. You may like to make a booklet or laminate cards and create a Velcro wall chart that you go through with them on the lead up to bedtime each evening.
You may also wish to create a social story for your child that you read to them each evening that describes their bedtime routine and makes them the centre of the story. Social stories were created by Carol Gray in 1991 and are meaningful short descriptions of activities and specific actions to help children understand and know what to expect.

Children love routine

Time your child’s bedtime routine so you have a consistent start time each evening and even more importantly, a consistent wake time in the morning.
Aim to avoid all screens an hour before bed- just 4 minutes of light at the wrong time of the evening can suppress the sleep hormone melatonin.
Start their bedtime routine with about 10 to 15 minutes of quiet fine motor such as colouring-in, fuzzy felts, sticking or puzzles. Or your child may prefer a relaxing story at this time.
To help your child unwind, from this point on it’s best not to chat too much. Instead use simple sentences or their visual aid booklet to guide and instruct them.
Then go for a short relaxing bath in warm water.
Go straight into the room they sleep in to get dressed for bed.
To stop your child becoming distracted or loosing focus with the routine it’s best to keep everything around the bedroom and bathroom area.
Once they are tucked up in bed, read then a bedtime story, at this time of night its best to be to too lively or stimulating.
Some children find a massage and or soothing music will help them to go sleep. Do whatever you feel is right for your child’s sensory needs.

Check their bedroom environment

Your child may have their own specific sensory differences that you need to consider.
Is their bedroom dark, cool and quiet?
Do they find it more relaxing to have gentle sleep sounds playing and a small amber night light?
Are there smells that they find upsetting, can you minimise smells from the kitchen and would scented oils help them relax?

If you would like help with your child’s sleep please don’t hesitate to call us to discuss how we can help you and your child.

January 15, 2024

How anxiety disrupts children’s sleep

First Published: 15 Jan 2024. Last Updated: 24 Feb 2025

Helping Your Child Feel Calm and Sleep Better

Does your child struggle to fall asleep because of anxiety?

Do bedtime worries keep them tossing and turning long into the night? If so, you’re not alone. Many children experience bedtime anxiety, which can make settling to sleep a real challenge—for them and you. The good news is that there are ways to help.

In this blog, we’ll explore how anxiety can affect children’s sleep, why it happens, and most importantly, practical steps you can take to help your child feel calmer and more secure at bedtime. With the right approach, you can support your child in developing healthy sleep habits, giving them (and yourself) more restful nights.

Anxiety/Worries and Sleep

Anxiety can disrupt children’s sleep for various reasons, creating a challenging cycle that affects both their physical and emotional well-being.

Firstly, anxiety triggers the body’s stress response, leading to heightened arousal and difficulty winding down for sleep. This can result in racing thoughts, increased heart rate, and muscle tension, making it hard for children to relax and fall asleep. Additionally, anxious thoughts and worries may intensify at night when the distractions of the day fade away, leaving children feeling more vulnerable and unsettled. Moreover, anxiety can manifest in physical symptoms such as stomach aches or headaches, further disrupting sleep.

The fear of the dark, separation anxiety, or worries about school or social situations can all contribute to bedtime anxiety, making it a multifaceted challenge to address. Understanding the underlying causes of anxiety and implementing strategies to promote relaxation and security are essential steps in helping children overcome sleep disturbances caused by anxiety.

Often these fears only surface at bedtime, when the day is over and there are no distractions to divert their thoughts.

So how can you help your young person manage their sleep at this time…..well the good news is there are things you can do to help.

What causes worries or anxiety at bedtime?

Children with autism and ADHD may have more bedtime anxieties than their peers. Bedtime can be particularly challenging for children with ADHD who have difficulties quietening their racing minds from the stresses or worries about their day.

A typical bedtime