Will a family visit to Canada disrupt my baby’s sleep pattern?

Will a family visit to Canada disrupt my baby’s sleep pattern?

Jane has just finished a sleep programme with Millpond and Sam her six month old son is now sleeping well.  Jane is planning a visit family in Canada to introduce them to Sam and she was very worried how the long haul flight and time difference will impact on his new sleep routine. We thought we would share our advice with you.

Millpond’s Sleep Solution:

We advised Jane that on her arrival in Canada,  Sam will want to go to sleep earlier than his “normal” UK bedtime.

To help shift his body clock so he sleeps later, we suggested she take him out in the light in the afternoon; light will suppress melatonin production and help to adjust his body clock.

A short but late nap will also help shift his body clock so when doing his usual winding down bedtime routine he will be calm and relaxed ready to drift off to sleep already adjusted to Canadian time.

Top tips for travelling with your baby or child:

Holidays by their very nature represent a change in routine which some children find hard to cope with and long flights in particular can create problems with your children’s sleep. Try to fly by day and as soon as you get onto the plane adjust your eating and sleeping times to your country of destination. This will get you onto local time as soon as possible. Also make sure you are well hydrated during your flight.

Travelling East to West is the easiest time change for our body clocks to cope with, however to prepare for the clock change, a few days before you leave put your little one to bed later and get him up later than his usual sleep wake times.

Plane

Night Terrors in Children: Understanding Them

night terror pic

What is a Night Terror?

Kate’s toddler was waking at night and having tantrums, she found it difficult to calm him down enough to go back to sleep as he seemed to be terrified and anxious.  She didn’t know what was waking him or how to resolve the problem.

Millpond’s Solution:

We thought Kate’s son could be experiencing a night terror.

Night terrors are a sleep disorder that mainly affect preschool children and occur usually in the earlier part of the night. Parents often find night terrors very disturbing as their child appears to “wake up” in a state of terror, often with a wide eyed frightened expression and sometimes screaming loudly.  The terror usually lasts a matter of minutes, but as they happen in deep sleep the child is still asleep and unaware of its occurrence. Parents should not attempt to wake their child from a night terror as they are likely to be very upset if roused from this state.  Night terrors can run in families; but sleep deprivation can be a cause, so it is important that parents ensure that their child is getting the right amount of sleep for their age.

We advised Kate to simply wait with her little boy until the terror passes and then lay him back down in his cot.  To help prevent further night terrors from happening, we suggested that Kate try stirring him gently when she went to bed. Kate did this nightly until her son had a week free of the terrors.

Tips for Night Breastfeeding Toddlers When Trying for Another Baby

If you are still breast feeding your toddler at night and want to have another baby we can help….
thinking about a baby

Laura’s dilemma:

We are trying for another baby, but my 18-month-old is still breastfeeding at night won’t settle to sleep without a feed. He cries uncontrollably if I don’t feed him to sleep and it is just exhausting. How can I change this habit before we have another baby?

Millpond’s Gentle Sleep Solution:

It is a very common habit and is called an inappropriate sleep association where a child needs a prop in order to fall asleep and then relies on the prop to help get back to sleep if they wake in the night.

The best place to start is with the bedtime routine. Just change the order around so that you breast feed your little one and then do the bath, drying, dressing, teeth and stories. You will then need to replace the feeding with something such as patting to sleep. Once you have finished stories lay your child in the cot, sit by the cot and pat him to sleep.

If he stands up keep lying him down and patting. If he really resists what you are doing you can turn away from him briefly for 5-10 seconds, come back  to him, lie him down and carry on patting. You may need to repeat this several times. It may take 20 minutes or up to an hour but eventually your baby will go to sleep. Each night the time for him to settle will reduce and he will stop standing up.

Then every 3 to 4 days have slightly less physical contact with your baby to help him sleep. So for example try sitting by the cot and intermittently patting him, then light touch, then no touch but using voice to soothe until eventually you can put your baby in the cot , say ‘night night’ and leave the room and he can self settle.

 

 

Natasha tells her story of how her son’s sleep problem was turned around!

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Family life for Natasha and her son had become so affected by lack of sleep. The whole family was incredibly tired and unable to function properly. Millpond had been recommended her by a good friend who had used the service recently, so Natasha contacted us for help.

“Joseph had always been a fantastic sleeper so when he started to not sleep well, we were all surprised. Family life became incredibly tough. We were all so tired and totally confused as to what the problem might be and how to fix it. I knew I needed to seek the support of a professional so my friend recommended the Millpond programme.

It was the best decision I made!

Very quickly Joseph responded to all the techniques and within 3 nights his sleep was so much better. Before the end of the programme he was sleeping perfectly again. We are so thankful to Mandy for helping us through such a challenging time.”

In The Night Garden the Bedtime Book – Millpond’s Mandy Gurney

In The Night Garden The Bedtime Book

In The Night Garden The Bedtime Book

We are pleased to announce that we’ve been busy writing an innovative new bedtime book for children: In the Night Garden The Bedtime Book. It’s out now, published by Ladybird Books.

The book is unique in that it is split into two sections: a bedtime routine for parents to follow with their child every night and a magical bedtime story that allows children to join Igglepiggle on a journey to find his bedtime boat, and help your child relax alongside their favourite Night Garden friends as they get ready for bed…

We’ve written the beautifully illustrated book in lullaby-like language and created the story to help children recognise how natural the process of sleep is. For example, as Igglepiggle makes his way through the garden he comes across all the characters in the book settling down for sleep. This story about all their favourite In The Night Garden characters will reassure young children that everyone sleeps and that they should also take pride in being able to sleep well too. The rhythmic narrative is complemented by key repetitive phrases and suggestive words, such as “close your eyes” and “snuggle down” that children will find relaxing and suggestive of sleep.

This book can be read every night as part of your regular bedtime routine with your child. We have included a specially devised relaxation technique to use after the story, which will banish even the most stubborn restless energy. The routine, story and relaxation work together to make a winning recipe for a good sleep every night. The book draws upon the tried and tested methods used by us at Millpond Children’s Sleep Clinic.

A handy tool for parents trying to encourage their children to go to sleep, this In The Night Garden book is a new and essential stage in your bedtime routine. You can buy your copy here.

19 month old Yusuf was waking frequently in the night

As a GP, Vanessa is a busy working mum trying to cope with a career and parenting a lively toddler.  Vanessa was woken repeatedly during the night by her 19 month son. She had no time to herself in the evening as Yusuf needed cuddling to sleep and she was exhausted through endless sleep deprived nights. Now expecting her second baby, Vanessa was struggling to manage and knew she had to take action…….

Toddler asleep new 2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I was exhausted and finding it difficult to cope juggling being a working mum before coming to Millpond.  I just want to say a huge thank you to Mandy. Your wealth of knowledge and solutions made me feel I was in safe hands and helped me have total confidence that what you were saying was the right thing to be doing.

It was so helpful to have a structure to work too and filling in the diary really helped see how bad things were initially and how dramatically they improved so quickly.

I am a GP and would recommend this to any sleep deprived parents who are struggling that I see. You cannot put a price on sleep. Bedtime now takes less than 20 minutes and I can then get on with my evening.

I know I will have a full nights sleep every night. We are expecting a new baby soon and feel so much more relaxed knowing I won’t have two children up at night and that there is a place I can go if we run into problems.

Thank you so much. I only wish I hadn’t waited 19 months.”

Overcoming Bedtime Fears: Henry’s Journey with Bear Anxiety

Henry was scared of bears

Anxiety at Bedtime – Henry was scared of bears

Henry’s mum tells his story:

Three year old Henry was scared of bears.  His anxiety about bears was waking him up multiple times in the middle of the night and he was also taking a considerable time to go back to sleep.

I have never tolerated disturbances at night so responded by doing the controlled crying technique, which has always been successful in the past.  On this occasion it made his anxiety so much worse and we got to a stage where he could not be in a separate room from me during the day. We were all tired and cranky during as a result.

Mandy was hugely supportive at getting me to use the gradual retreat approach and helped me create a sleep fairy for Henry with realistic goals that he could achieve.  The anxiety gradually disappeared.

Now if he wakes in the night he goes back to sleep immediately!

So much better!

Four year old Alfie was awake for hours at night

 

Alfie 4 years old
Four year old Alfie

 

Alfie was awake for hours at night

Before I got in touch with Millpond four year old Alfie could not self settle at bedtime.  Myself or husband would have to lie with him until he fell to sleep and he would wake multiple times in the night and be awake for hours.

He didn’t go to sleep much before 9 pm leaving no quality time for myself or husband; as soon as Alfie was asleep we’d go to bed ourselves.

Alfie would wake up every single night, sometimes twice, sometimes 4/5 times.  Alfie would be awake for anywhere between 10 minutes and 2 hours, even waking at 3.30/4.30 and not going back to sleep.

Alfie has learnt to settle himself to bed

Then I got in touch with Millpond and everything changed.

Alfie now goes to sleep by himself, usually around 7.20 pm and sleeps ALL night on his own till 6.30 am!

Our lives have totally changed.  I am no longer a walking zombie whose days go by in a hazy, grumpy, blur.  The whole household is happier, calmer, less stressed and I am thoroughly enjoying my time with Alfie instead of being too tired or grumpy to enjoy our time together.  Alfie is happier; he’s in a great routine and has embraced the whole experience.

I’d recommend Millpond to anybody who is having sleep problems with their child, because the time spent with our children is truly precious and to not enjoy it because of sleep deprivation is such a shame.  My only regret
.that I didn’t contact Millpond sooner!  The help and support I received from Juliet was amazing, she kept me going giving me help and advice and praise whenever I needed it.

She’s truly my little sleep fairy and I’ll always be thankful to her and Millpond for how much they have improved our lives 🙂

BIG THANKS TO YOU ALL

 

How to get your children to do what you ask of them

We asked our friends at The Parent Practice the question all parents would like to know – “How do I get my children to do what I ask?”.   Read their amazing tips:
parent practice blog
How many times have you asked your children to do something – put the milk back in the fridge, hang up a wet towel, brush their hair 
 the first response you’ll hear back could be any of the following 
 ‘just a sec’, ‘I already did it’  – as the milk remains on the counter, the un-brushed breath still horrendous!  The truth is that when we ask our children to do something, we have an underlying expectation:

I expect that she will do it –

IMMEDIATELY

THE WAY I WANT HER TO DO IT

EVERY SINGLE TIME

FULL OF GRATITUDE THAT SHE WAS ASKED IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Now, let’s say, you’re getting dinner ready and your child calls down for help with homework.  What is your likely first response?  I’m just guessing that it’s not to put everything on hold and race upstairs.  You’re more likely to shout up a ‘Just a minute’ or ‘Be there in a sec”.  We are just as unlikely to drop all that we’re doing – the important things on our own agendas – and immediately run and do what has been asked of us (unless it is a serious emergency).

It’s just the same with our children.  Our children also have their own agendas.  They have their heads in a good book, or that Lego construction is almost complete, the puzzle only has 5 more pieces to go, they’ve nearly finished that level of Minecraft 
 and we jump in and expect that they will drop everything and happily do exactly what we’ve asked, to our standards!

Now, I’m not suggesting for a second that our children don’t have to do what is required.  There is however, a really great way to ensure that it gets done in a positive way 
 without the nagging, cajoling and shouting 
 and in just three easy steps!  These steps assume that your child has a clear understanding of your family rules and knows what is required of them.   Let’s say one of your rules is ‘Dinner is at 6 pm.’

Step One:  Go to your child. Rather than shouting from one room (or floor) to another. This is a no brainer 
 especially as your children might not hear you otherwise.  You save yourself the frustration of shouting.  Engage with them in whatever it is that they’re doing.  ‘What are you reading?’ ‘Where are you up to?’ ‘Wow, you’re almost finished the whole puzzle!’ ‘I can’t believe you got so much of the Hogwarts set built’, ‘That game looks amazing’.

Step Two:  Give the instruction. It’s 6 o’clock.  You know what that means, right?  That’s right 
 dinner!  And you’ve looked at me –thank you.  Two more pieces and we need to go.  Ask them to tell you what they have to do.

Step Three:  Follow through.  Stay in their space and acknowledge small steps in the right direction. Empathise with any resistance that comes up.

It IS possible!  I used it just tonight as my daughter was next door, drawing with her friend.  I went to her, had a look at what she was drawing, told her that it was 6 pm and that dinner was on the table.  She asked if she could go back after dinner.  I told her that as she was already heading to the door of course she could go back!

Three easy steps!  Give it a go!

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