A Bedtime Routine for Your School-Aged Child

A Cosy Bedtime Routine for Your School-Aged Child

Bedtime should be a calm, cosy, and predictable time for children, helping them unwind from the day and settle in for a good night’s sleep. But in reality, it can often feel like a battle—whether it’s screens keeping them awake, bedtime worries creeping in, or just struggling to switch off.

If your child is restless at bedtime or wakes up groggy in the morning, a structured, gentle bedtime routine can make all the difference.

Here’s how to set up a relaxing evening routine that works.

bedtime routine

Screens & Bedtime: When to Switch Off?

Why It Matters: While blue light has long been blamed for sleep problems, the latest research suggests it’s not the light itself—it’s how screens keep children engaged, alert, and awake long past their natural bedtime.

What the Research Says:

  • The more time children spend on screens before bed, the later their bedtime shifts and the less sleep they get overall.
  • Scrolling, gaming, and social media keep the brain in a high-alert state, making it harder to wind down.
  • Keeping a phone on at night—especially with notifications active—leads to disrupted sleep and poorer sleep quality.

What Parents Can Do:

  • Set a screen curfew – ideally one hour before bed.
  • Keep phones and tablets out of the bedroom overnight.
  • Swap screens for quiet activities – like reading, colouring, or a chat about the day.

Tip: Netflix, YouTube, and TikTok can be particularly tricky as they encourage endless scrolling. Try using a timer or ‘wind-down’ mode to help your child log off.

screens prevent sleep

Helping an Anxious Child Wind Down

Why It Matters: Some children struggle to switch off because of worries and racing thoughts. If your child gets anxious at bedtime, their brain stays in high-alert mode, making it difficult to relax.

What Helps:

  • Have a worry journal – let them write or draw any worries before bed.
  • Set up a worry time earlier in the evening – so bedtime isn’t spent overthinking.
  • Teach calm breathing techniques – try 3-4-5 breathing (inhale for 3, hold for 4, exhale for 5).
  • Try mindfulness or gentle yoga – even a few minutes can make a big difference.

relaxing to help anxiety sleep issues in children

What & When Should Children Eat Before Bed?

Why It Matters: Eating too close to bedtime can cause restless sleep, while certain foods help promote relaxation.

What to Do:

  • Last big meal – at least 2 hours before bed.
  • Good bedtime snacks – a banana with peanut butter, warm milk, or yoghurt.
  • Avoid sugary foods & caffeine – including chocolate, fizzy drinks, and tea!

how caffeine affects sleep

Exercise & Sleep: Getting the Balance Right

Why It Matters: Regular movement helps burn off excess energy and promotes deeper, more restorative sleep. Engaging in physical activity earlier in the day is ideal, as exercising too close to bedtime can stimulate the body and make it harder to fall asleep. Ideally, it’s best to stop exercising 2 hours before bedtime.

What Helps:

  • Encourage outdoor play or exercise in the afternoon.
  • Avoid high-energy activities 2 hours before bed.
  • Try gentle stretching or relaxation exercises before sleep.

bedtime routine

Making the Bedroom Sleep-Friendly

Why It Matters: A cluttered, bright, or noisy bedroom can make it harder for children to settle. A cosy, calming space tells their brain it’s time to switch off.

Simple Fixes for a Sleep-Friendly Bedroom:

  • Dim the lights an hour before bed – this helps with melatonin production.
  • Keep the bed solely for reading and sleeping – no homework, screens, or gaming in bed!
  • Use warm, soft lighting – swap bright overhead lights for lamps or fairy lights.
  • Check the temperature – around 18°C is ideal for sleep.

The Magic of a Warm Bath Before Bed

Why It Matters: A warm bath 30-60 minutes before bed helps relax muscles and lower stress, making it easier to fall asleep. It also mimics the body’s natural temperature drop before sleep.

How to Make It Extra Relaxing:

  • Add a few drops of lavender oil to the bath.
  • Follow up with a bedtime story.
  • Snuggle up with cosy PJs and a cuddle.

Avoiding Bedtime Battles & Discussions

Why It Matters: Arguments, last-minute homework, or overstimulation can trigger stress hormones and have an alerting effect, making bedtime a struggle.

How to Keep Bedtime Calm & Positive:

  • Finish homework at least 1 hour before bed.
  • Avoid difficult conversations late at night – save them for the morning.
  • Keep the evening low-key – music, stories, or quiet play.

teens sleep

Why a Parent-Led Bedtime Helps

Why It Matters: Studies show that when parents take an active role in bedtime, children go to bed earlier and have more sleep.

How to Lead a Calm Bedtime:

  • Keep bedtime at the same time every night (including weekends!).
  • Spend 10-15 minutes of quiet connection before the start of the bedtime routine – reading, chatting, or a cuddle.
  • Offer gentle reassurance – a consistent routine makes children feel safe and secure.

bedtime routine

The Power of Morning Light

Why It Matters: Morning sunlight helps reset the body clock, making it easier to fall asleep at night.

How to Help:

  • Encourage outdoor time in the morning (even just walking to school).
  • Open curtains as soon as they wake up.
  • Let natural light fill the breakfast area.

bedtime routine

Final Thoughts: A Calm Bedtime = Happier Mornings!

A consistent, soothing bedtime routine can transform your child’s sleep. By keeping screens in check, managing worries, adjusting diet and exercise, and creating a cosy wind-down routine, bedtime can become a calm and comforting part of the day.

Need help with your child’s sleep? We’ve supported hundreds of UK families in creating better sleep habits. Get in touch to find out how we can help!

Written by Mandy Gurney February 2025

Is Your Child’s Sleep Struggle a Sign of Anxiety?

Is Your Child’s Sleep Struggle a Sign of Anxiety?

As parents, it can be tough to know whether your child’s sleep troubles are just a phase or part of a bigger issue—like anxiety. Occasional restless nights are normal, but if sleep disruptions become persistent, anxiety could be playing a role.

Here’s how you can identify if your child’s sleep struggles are linked to anxiety and what you can do to help.

sleep anxiety

 Signs That Anxiety Might Be Affecting Your Child’s Sleep

  • Worry-Filled Bedtimes

Does your child seem particularly anxious as bedtime approaches? If they frequently express fears—whether about the dark, being alone, or an upcoming event—these worries could be keeping them from settling down to sleep.

  • Anxiety During the Day

Sleep troubles are often just one part of the puzzle. If your child seems overly worried and follows you around the home, even if you’re just answering the door or getting a cuppa. If they won’t spend any time in their bedroom during the day unless you’re with them. If they’re irritable, restless, or have trouble concentrating during the day, their anxiety may not be limited to bedtime.

  • Frequent Requests for Reassurance

Children struggling with anxiety may ask repeatedly for reassurance about their safety at night. They might insist on sleeping with a parent, leave their bed multiple times, or make frequent excuses and delay bedtime with questions e.g., “What’s the solar system?” or “Why did the dinosaurs die out?”

  • Physical Complaints at Night

Anxiety can manifest as physical symptoms. If your child often complains of stomach aches, headaches, or other discomforts right before bedtime, it could be a sign of underlying anxiety rather than a physical illness.

  • Struggling Even in a Comfortable Sleep Environment

A quiet, dark, and cosy bedroom is ideal for sleep. But if your child continues to have difficulty sleeping despite a well-set-up sleep environment, anxiety may be interfering.

  • Exhaustion and Daytime Impact

If your child’s sleep struggles are leading to daytime fatigue, difficulty concentrating, or losing interest in activities they usually enjoy, it’s important to dig deeper into the root cause.

  • Recent Changes or Stressful Events

Has your child recently experienced a big change—like moving house, starting a new school, or a family transition such as divorce or a new sibling? Significant life events –“Life Quakes” can heighten anxiety, making it harder to sleep.

How Parents Can Help

If you suspect your child’s sleep struggles are linked to anxiety, there are steps you can take to support them:

  • Create a Calm Bedtime Routine – Gentle activities like reading, soft music, or a few minutes of quiet conversation before they start getting ready for bed can help ease bedtime stress.
  • Encourage Open Conversations – Let your child talk about their worries. Set aside some time every evening that’s special 1:1 time with you to give them a chance to discuss their concerns. Giving space to their thoughts earlier in the evening means they’ve been aired and given time now, rather than when your child is tucked up in bed. Reassure them that feeling anxious is normal, and help them find ways to manage those feelings.

how to help your child with sleep anxiety

  • Teach Relaxation Techniques – Deep breathing, guided imagery, or progressive muscle relaxation can help children unwind before bed. See my blog on relaxation techniques that can help children with bedtime anxiety
  • Limit Screen Time Before Bed – The alerting effect from using phones and handheld devices can disrupt sleep and increase anxious feelings. Try switching to calming activities an hour before bedtime. See my blog on the impact of screens on your child’s sleep.
  • Seek Professional Support if Needed – If sleep troubles persist and anxiety is significantly affecting your child’s daily life, a paediatrician or child psychologist can provide valuable guidance and support.

sleep anxiety

Additional Support for Parents

If your child continues to struggle with sleep due to anxiety, consider looking into:

  • Parenting workshops on anxiety and sleep
  • Books and resources on childhood anxiety
  • Support groups for parents
  • Sleep consultations with professionals who specialise in children’s sleep

In my series of blogs, I will explore:

If your child’s sleep struggles are linked to anxiety, you’re not alone—many families face the same challenge. With the right support, your child can develop healthy sleep habits and feel more secure at night. We’ve helped hundreds of families navigate bedtime anxiety, and we’re here to help you too.

Please get in touch today to find out how we can support your child’s journey to better sleep

Written by Mandy Gurney February 2025

Relaxation techniques to help your child with bedtime anxiety

Helping Your Child Overcome Bedtime Anxiety with Relaxation Techniques

Bedtime should be a calm and comforting experience for both parents and children, but for many children struggling with bedtime anxiety, it can feel overwhelming. Racing thoughts, nighttime worries, and separation anxiety can make it hard for children to relax and fall asleep, leading to bedtime resistance and overtired, stressed-out families by the end of the evening.

The good news? Gentle relaxation techniques—such as deep breathing exercises, guided visualisation, and progressive muscle relaxation—can help reduce anxiety at bedtime and create a soothing sleep routine that helps your child feel safe and ready for sleep.

In this post, I’ll explore bedtime relaxation techniques designed to ease nighttime anxiety, promote calmness, and support healthy sleep habits for children.

relaxation to help with anxiety at bedtime

Deep breathing for relaxation – the 3-4-5 breathing pattern: 

One effective approach is to practice deep breathing exercises with your child. Guide them to take slow, deep breaths: inhale through their nose for a count of three, hold their breath for a count of four, and then exhale slowly through their mouth for a count of five. This rhythmic breathing can help calm their nervous system and promote a sense of tranquillity.

Stretch and Relax

Another technique is progressive muscle relaxation. This involves instructing your child to tense and then relax different muscle groups in their body, starting from their toes and working their way up to their head. For example, they can clench their fists tightly and then release, noticing how their hands feel when relaxed. This method not only helps alleviate physical tension but also diverts their attention from anxious thoughts.

Guided visualisation exercises for bedtime anxiety can help children feel calm and ready for sleep:

Visualisation exercises can be very helpful. Encourage your child to close their eyes and imagine a peaceful place, such as a beach or a forest. They should use all their senses to create a vivid mental picture. By describing the sights, sounds, and smells of their chosen sanctuary, they can escape from anxious feelings and promote relaxation.

 

relaxtion to help with sleep anxiety

The Cognitive Shuffle:

The Cognitive Shuffle is a technique designed to distract the brain from anxious or racing thoughts by focusing on random, non-stressful mental imagery instead. This mimics the relaxed, disorganised thinking that naturally occurs as your child drifts into sleep.

How to Practice the Cognitive Shuffle:

  • Pick a Word: Choose a simple word, like “bed,” “beach,” or “apple.”
  • Think of Random Words: For each letter in the word, think of as many unrelated things as possible.
    • Example: For “bed,” think banana, ball, butterfly, basket…
  • Visualise: Picture each word in your mind, imagining its shape, colour, or how it looks.

If your child’s mind starts to wander, they should simply return to their chosen word and continue thinking of random things.

This method can be an effective way to ease bedtime anxiety and help children transition into sleep more smoothly.

 Mindfulness:

Finally, introducing mindfulness practices tailored for children, such as simple meditation or guided imagery, can also be highly effective. There are many resources available, including apps and books specifically designed for young audiences that lead them through these calming practices.

relaxing to help anxiety sleep issues in children

Choosing a relaxation technique for your child:

Choose which technique you think would be most suitable for your child and try it with them for a week or two. If that particular relaxation technique doesn’t suit them, you could then try a different option. When you find the one that best suits your child, you should find bedtime becomes more enjoyable for you all, see a reduction in their anxiety and an enhanced quality of sleep.

 

Please remember to check out my bedtime routine guidelines, as a calm focused leadup to sleep is a vital part of this process.

In my blogs in this series, I will explore:

Struggling with your child’s bedtime anxiety? Book a personalised sleep consultation today and help your child develop healthy sleep habits for life. We’ve helped hundreds of families navigate bedtime anxiety, and we’re here to help you too.

 

Written by Mandy Gurney February 2025

The Impact of Screens on Your Child’s Sleep

Blue light from screens impacts sleep

The Impact of Screens on Your Child’s Sleep: Understanding the Real Issues

Mobile phones offer endless entertainment, connectivity, and information—but they can also be intrusive, keeping us up when we should be resting. This issue is becoming more prominent for children, with increasing concerns about how screen time affects their sleep.

As parents, it’s easy to spot the signs: children staying up late, having trouble winding down, or complaining about being tired during the day. A recent study of 11,875 US children aged nine to 10 explored how screen time affects mental health, behaviour, school performance, sleep, and friendships. The results indicate that more screen time is mildly linked to worse mental health, more behaviour problems, lower academic performance, and poorer sleep, but slightly better peer relationships.

screens at bedtime impact sleep

Understanding the Impact of Screen Time on Sleep

While blue light has long been blamed for sleep disruptions, the latest research suggests that the real problem is more complex. The issue isn’t just the light emitted from screens—it’s how devices keep children alert at bedtime and shift their bedtimes later as they scroll through social media, play games, or watch videos.

Studies have found that the more time children spend on their phones, the later their bedtimes get and the less sleep they get overall; those children who kept their phones on at night—especially with notifications active—had worse sleep quality and stayed up later.

screens in bed impact sleep

How Phones Keep Your Child Awake

Phones can stimulate your child’s brain, making it difficult for them to fall asleep. Instead of winding down, they’re getting caught in a cycle of watching “just one more episode” or scrolling through social media, which pushes bedtime later and later.

But it’s not just the amount of time they spend on devices that matter. The content they’re engaging with is equally important. Reading or seeing upsetting messages, or getting involved in emotionally charged content, can further disrupt their ability to relax and fall asleep. Even “fun” content can spark excitement or lead to overthinking, which makes it harder to settle down.

Setting Boundaries to Improve Your Child’s Sleep

As parents, you have the power to set healthy boundaries around screen time that can greatly improve your child’s sleep.

Here are some practical tips:

  • Set Clear “House Rules” for Screen Time: From the moment your child gets their first phone, make it clear that devices do not belong in the bedroom. This helps avoid late-night scrolling and phone distractions.
  • Create a Charging Station Outside the Bedroom: Keep phones and other devices in a common area, like the kitchen or living room, to prevent them from interfering with sleep.
  • Lead by Example: Children are more likely to follow rules when they see their parents practising them. Limit your own screen time before bed, and you’ll set a great example for your child.
  • Establish a Screen-Free Wind-Down Time: Aim for an hour or two without screens before bed. Use this time for activities like reading, drawing, or doing a relaxing puzzle to help your child wind down.
  • Support Late-Night Study Needs: If your child needs to study late or use devices for schoolwork, consider having a cut-off time at least an hour before bedtime.
  • Create a Relaxing Bedtime Routine: Dim the lights an hour before bedtime to signal to your child’s body that it’s time to wind down. Studies show that even just four minutes of bright light at the wrong time can delay melatonin production by up to 90 minutes, making it harder to fall asleep.

Why Leading by Example Matters

It can be hard to convince children to change their habits, especially when they’re used to having their phones at all times. However, setting clear rules and leading by example can make a big difference. If your child is already struggling with sleep, have an open conversation about how devices and screen time might be affecting their rest. Helping them understand the importance of healthy sleep habits—and supporting them in sticking to them—can lead to better sleep quality for the whole family.

For more on teens sleep, see our blogs on:

Written by Mandy Gurney. RGN.RM.Dip HV February 2025

Tips to help your teenager sleep well

How can I help my teenager to sleep better?

Is your teenager’s bed turning into a social hub rather than a peaceful sleeping haven?

teenagers sleep problems

What you do in bed matters for your brain’s sleep signals! Whether it’s late-night scrolling, interacting with friends, gaming or studying, your brain starts associating the bed with wakefulness—not rest.

In my latest blog, I’m exploring how teens can break the cycle of sleeplessness and reconnect their bed with sleep. From calming activities to smart sleep habits, these tips can help your teen fall asleep faster and enjoy better rest.

Understanding the Bed-Sleep Connection
  • Your brain learns to associate places with activities. If you use your bed for studying, scrolling on your phone, or stressing out, your brain starts to link your bed with wakefulness rather than sleep. This makes it harder to fall asleep when you want to.
Breaking the Cycle of Sleeplessness
  • When you can’t sleep, lying in bed can make you feel frustrated and anxious. This frustration makes it even harder to sleep, triggering your fight-or-fight response, and creating a negative cycle. By getting out of bed and doing something relaxing, you break this cycle and reset your mind, making it easier to sleep when you return to bed.

 

anxious and awake in the night

Choosing a Calming Activity
  • If you’re wide awake after 20 minutes of trying to sleep, get out of bed and do something calming. Sit in a dimly lit area away from the bed and read a book, listen to quiet music, or practice deep breathing. Avoid screens and bright lights, as these can trick your brain into staying awake.
Making it a Habit
  • The more consistently you practice this, the stronger the connection between your bed and sleep will become. Over time, your brain will learn that bed means sleep, helping you fall asleep faster and enjoy better quality rest.
Keeping Your Bed for Sleep
  • Reserve your bed for sleep (and maybe a bit of light reading). Avoid doing homework, eating, or watching videos in bed. This will reinforce the idea that your bed is a place for rest. You may be able to set up a chill-out space in your room with cushions or pillows instead.
help teenagers sleep
Being Patient
  • Strengthening the bed-sleep connection takes time, but it’s worth the effort. Consistently getting out of bed when you can’t sleep can lead to more restful nights and better focus during the day.

Good sleep habits are essential for our health, mood, and academic performance. By following these tips, we can train our brain to see our bed as a place for sleep, not stress.

For more on teens sleep, see our blogs on:

This blog was written by Mandy Gurney RGN.RM.DipHV

Why Sleep is Essential for Teen’s Health and Well-being

Sleep is a fundamental pillar of health at any age, but it’s especially critical during the teenage years. Adolescence is a period of rapid growth and development—physically, mentally, and emotionally—and quality sleep plays a vital role in supporting this transformation. Let’s dive into why sleep is so essential for teenagers and the lasting impact it has on their lives.

teenager not sleeping

Sleep Boosts Cognitive Function and Academic Achievement

A well-rested brain is sharper and more capable of processing information. Quality sleep enhances memory, focus, and problem-solving skills, all of which are critical for academic performance. Whether it’s preparing for an exam, learning a new skill, or mastering an instrument, sleep helps teens absorb and retain information better.

Sleep deprivation, on the other hand, can lead to drowsiness, lack of concentration, and poor academic performance. Teens who don’t get enough sleep often struggle to stay alert and engaged in class, which can have long-term consequences on their education and career prospects.

Sleep Supports Emotional Wellbeing

We’ve all experienced how a bad night’s sleep can affect our mood. For teens, chronic sleep deprivation can lead to irritability, mood swings, and even serious mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

Teenagers are navigating new social relationships, increased responsibilities, and more independence, and insufficient sleep can make these challenges harder to manage.

Numerous studies clarify how prolonged sleep loss means teens miss out on the benefits of soothing REM sleep and could be more prone to emotional dysregulation and risky behaviours. Ensuring they get enough sleep is one way to promote emotional resilience and mental well-being.

teen not sleeping

Sleep Reduces Risky and Sensation-Seeking Behaviours

A lack of sleep could impact the development of the brain’s frontal lobe, the area responsible for controlling impulsive behaviour and decision-making. Sleep-deprived teens are more likely to engage in high-risk activities, such as texting while driving, not wearing seat belts or substance abuse. These behaviours not only put their health at risk but can also result in serious accidents and injuries.

Behavioural problems can have widespread effects on a teenager’s life, putting both their safety and relationships with family and friends in jeopardy.

help teens sleep

Sleep Helps to Prevent Accidents and Injuries

One of the most concerning effects of sleep deprivation in teens is the increased risk of accidents, especially when driving. Sleep loss reduces reaction times in a way that’s comparable to being under the influence of alcohol. When combined with a lack of driving experience and distractions like texting, sleep-deprived teens are at a heightened risk for car accidents and other serious injuries.

Sleep Promotes Physical Health and Development

Teenagers undergo significant physical growth, and sleep is essential for supporting this process. Sleep helps the body recover, repair tissues, and build muscle, all while regulating important hormones.

Researchers found adolescents who consistently miss out on sleep have troubling disruptions in their metabolism, cardiovascular health, and immune system.

The Weekend Catch-Up Myth

Many teens think they can make up for lost sleep by sleeping in on weekends, but this isn’t the case. Studies show that even an afternoon nap or extra weekend sleep doesn’t fully compensate for chronic sleep deprivation. Teens need a consistent 9 hours of sleep each night to truly support their development.

Prioritise Sleep for Health and Well-Being

Sleep is not just about rest; it’s a crucial component of a teenager’s mental, emotional, and physical health. By making sleep a priority, teens can boost their academic performance, improve their emotional stability, reduce risky behaviours, and support their overall growth and development.

Encouraging healthy sleep habits in teens will help them to thrive during this critical stage of life.

For more on teens sleep, see our blogs on:

This blog was written by Mandy Gurney RGN.RM.Dip HV

How Much Sleep Is Your Teenager Getting?

teens sleep

How much sleep do teenagers need? 

The average teen needs about 8 to 10 hours of sleep every night to feel alert and perform at their best during their waking hours. However because their bodies are biologically programmed to stay up late, it can be difficult for them to get the sleep they need on a routine basis. Add to that the growing list of demands on their time such as school work, screen time, social media and friends; it’s not surprising that teens are at such high risk for sleep deprivation.

According to the latest figures from the Office of National Statistics (2021), 38% of 11 to 16-year-olds and 57% of 17 to 23-year-olds were affected by sleep problems on three or more nights a week.

 

tired teenager

What’s the impact of lack of sleep on your teenager?

We know from the ever-growing body of evidence the impact poor sleep is having on young bodies and minds.

  • Research shows that ‘night owl,’ teenagers who prefer to go to bed late but have to get up early for school, have a higher waist circumference and greater abdominal fat deposition (adiposity) than the ‘morning larks,’ those who prefer to go to bed early and get up early to begin their day.
  • Recent studies have considerably clarified the relationship between lack of sleep on young people’s mood, emotion regulation, planning, decision-making judgement and moderation of social behaviours.
  • Young people who are not sleeping well are more vulnerable to sensation-seeking behaviours, substance abuse, oppositional behaviour, moodiness, irritability and anxiety.

Why has your teen become a night owl

Teenagers naturally fall asleep later and wake later in the day. You might find it frustrating that your 13-year-old turns the alarm clock off in the morning to try and glean an extra hour’s sleep leaving them seconds to get ready before they rush out the door, but remember that most teens’ natural sleep cycle puts them in conflict with school start times.

By measuring the presence of melatonin in teenagers’ saliva at different times of the day, we know melatonin levels rise later at night in teenagers and remain at a higher level later in the morning. This natural shift in melatonin production, known as a phase delay, means your teen may seem full of energy in the evening and struggle to get to sleep, then can’t get up in time for school and seems sluggish and sleepy in the morning.

Teens Sleep-Wake Cycle- delayed melatonin production

 

2006 American Academy of Sleep Medicine

Researchers at Oxford University are exploring the benefits of later school start times, as studies have found that when teens start school later:

  • They sleep longer.
  • Surprisingly they don’t stay up as late at night when their school start times change.
  • They perform better and get higher grades.
  • Fewer students seek help from counsellors and nurses.
  • Sick days and tardiness decrease.
  • Parents report their teenagers are easier to live with and more connected at home.
  • Car accidents among teen drivers drop significantly.

What can you do to help your teen?

We know that to help our children reach their best potential and for them to lead healthy and happy lives, the best thing we can do is to help them improve their sleep.

So how can you work with these developmental changes and help your young person plan their time and make healthy life choices in a world where sleep seems a low priority?

  • Educate yourself about sleep. One of the most important ways you can help your teen sleep better is to understand why sleep is so important; research has shown the more we understand about sleep, the more sleep we will have.
  • Explore ways to help them and how you can make sleep a lifestyle priority for the whole family, so you act as a good example to your teen.
  • Encourage your teen to have a consistent regular sleeping pattern throughout the week and weekend. Studies have shown where there are parent-set bedtimes during the week children had earlier bedtimes, gained more sleep and had improved daytime functioning.
  • Discuss a bedtime and waking time that they feel is reasonable and that allows them to get the right amount of sleep each night.
  • At the weekends they can enjoy a lie-in, however, it’s best to cap it at an hour extra to help keep their body clock on track. Sleeping in too long or too late in the day is likely to affect the following night’s bedtime and shift their body clock later. Many teens use the weekend to try to catch up on their accrued sleep debt. They may be interested to know a sleep debt can never be fully paid back and if a large debt has built up over the week, a weekend is not long enough to rebalance the lack of sleep. Sleeping in at the weekend will also just reinforce the shift in their body clock and they are more likely to continue to feel jet-lagged, groggy and exhausted.

teens sleep

  • To help keep your teen’s body clock on track, lights dim in the evening but in the morning open the curtains to let the light.
  • Scientific research shows that screens have a direct impact on sleep. Negotiate when screen time is going to end, bearing in mind screens need to be off an hour before sleep. You may need to have a family rule of no phones in bedrooms.

  • Negotiate a cut-off time for gaming and films; not only will the light from devices impact melatonin production but your teen’s brain also needs time to relax and calm before bed.
  • Encourage your young person to have more exercise during the day. Think of alternative types of exercise such as yoga. Think outside the box and consider meditation with them. This has been proven to improve the length and quality of sleep.
  • Avoid any caffeine drinks from 5.00 pm; caffeine has a half-life of 5 hours and could interfere with your teen’s sleep onset.

caffeine

  • Encourage them to do homework earlier in the evening. The bonus is they will be able to relax and have their own time once it’s all done.
  • It’s best to avoid discussions or arguments with your teen just before bedtime. If they have particular concerns they want to go through with you it’s best to do this 1:1 in a quiet room before they start getting ready for bed. Having these conversations once they are in bed is likely to prevent them from falling asleep.

teens sleep

  • Have a warm bath before bed. This will help trigger melatonin and relax your teen (and the bonus of extra time in the morning)
  • Rather than screens encourage them to read a book before lights out.

reading at bedtime

  • Try suggesting they keep a diary or to-do lists. Jotting down notes before sleep means they’ll be less likely to stay awake worrying or stressing.
  • And if they must nap, they should keep it to under an hour.

This article was written by Mandy Gurney- RGN. RM. Dip HV.

Founder Millpond Sleep Clinic

For more on teens and young people’s sleep, see our blogs on:

How anxiety disrupts children’s sleep

First Published: 15 Jan 2024. Last Updated: 24 Feb 2025

Helping Your Child Feel Calm and Sleep Better

Does your child struggle to fall asleep because of anxiety?

Do bedtime worries keep them tossing and turning long into the night? If so, you’re not alone. Many children experience bedtime anxiety, which can make settling to sleep a real challenge—for them and you. The good news is that there are ways to help.

In this blog, we’ll explore how anxiety can affect children’s sleep, why it happens, and most importantly, practical steps you can take to help your child feel calmer and more secure at bedtime. With the right approach, you can support your child in developing healthy sleep habits, giving them (and yourself) more restful nights.

Anxiety/Worries and Sleep

Anxiety can disrupt children’s sleep for various reasons, creating a challenging cycle that affects both their physical and emotional well-being.

Firstly, anxiety triggers the body’s stress response, leading to heightened arousal and difficulty winding down for sleep. This can result in racing thoughts, increased heart rate, and muscle tension, making it hard for children to relax and fall asleep. Additionally, anxious thoughts and worries may intensify at night when the distractions of the day fade away, leaving children feeling more vulnerable and unsettled. Moreover, anxiety can manifest in physical symptoms such as stomach aches or headaches, further disrupting sleep.

The fear of the dark, separation anxiety, or worries about school or social situations can all contribute to bedtime anxiety, making it a multifaceted challenge to address. Understanding the underlying causes of anxiety and implementing strategies to promote relaxation and security are essential steps in helping children overcome sleep disturbances caused by anxiety.

Often these fears only surface at bedtime, when the day is over and there are no distractions to divert their thoughts.

So how can you help your young person manage their sleep at this time…..well the good news is there are things you can do to help.

how to help my anxious child sleep

What causes worries or anxiety at bedtime?

There are numerous causes of anxiety in children that can impact negatively on their sleep. These include long-term unresolved sleep issues, overthinking or over-worrying, experiencing vivid and scary nightmares, fear of the dark and monsters, starting nursery or school, family breakdowns and bereavement.

Older school-aged children who struggle to sleep are often perfectionists and academic high achievers. They find themselves in a vicious cycle where they worry about how lack of sleep will affect their work, which stops them from falling asleep and in turn leads to negative thoughts or even fears about sleep itself.

Children with autism and ADHD may have more bedtime anxieties than their peers. Bedtime can be particularly challenging for children with ADHD who have difficulties quietening their racing minds from the stresses or worries about their day.

A typical bedtime

Children with anxiety at bedtime often struggle to fall asleep and can lie awake for hours.  They can reappear numerous times in the evening with excuses such as being hungry, thirsty, too hot, too cold or needling the toilet.  You take them back to bed, but in no time at all, they are back with more excuses.  This process happens night after night leading to cross and stressed parents and an even more anxious child; you all dread bedtime!

You eventually find yourself getting into your child’s bed just to get them to sleep and then in the night they wake and seek you out again to help them get back to sleep.  The perfect recipe for a tired and stressed family!

Have a stress-free bedtime that helps your child sleep well

Starting your child’s bedtime routine

  • About an hour before your child goes to sleep have quiet time. Tidy away the toys and turn off all screens. Research has shown that not only does light from computers, iPads etc. can interfere with sleep, but the content can have an alerting effect, delaying bedtime even further.

“Talking time”

  • This is the time to set aside 10 to 15 minutes of one-on-one calming and quiet time with your child.
  • Ensure you put your phone away and make sure you have nothing else you need to do at this point so you can give your child your undivided attention.
  • At Millpond we often call this “Talking Time”.
  • This will give your child the space to discuss any worries or fears they may have and just as importantly means they are less likely to need to bring them up just before you say goodnight.
  • If your child doesn’t have anything specific they wish to discuss, as an alternative you could help set a positive tone by discussing 3 positive things about that day. If possible try and find new things each evening.
  • Your child may like to write them in a notepad that you keep just for bedtime.

Get your routine right so your child settles to sleep calmly and happily.

  • Initially focus the bedtime routine around the time your child naturally falls asleep; even if this seems late.
  • For example, if your child usually falls asleep at 10.00 pm start your routine at 9.15 pm. This way you are allowing 30 minutes for the routine and 15 minutes for them to fall asleep.
  • Carry out the same series of steps every night – make this routine your bedtime routine ritual. Having a routine means your child’s body will start to prepare for sleep as soon as you start this process.
  • If your child is falling asleep well in 15 minutes, after a few nights, start your bedtime routine 15 minutes earlier. Repeat this pattern, slowly advancing the start time of your routine until you reach the time that works best for your child.

Have a warm relaxing bath.

  • Have a warm, relaxing bath lasting no longer than 10 minutes. Keeping the bath to a maximum of 10 minutes means bath time doesn’t become a stimulating playtime. The added bonus is coming out of the warm water allows the body to cool quickly triggering the sleep hormone melatonin.
  • Then go straight into your child’s bedroom; going back into the living area at this time will lose the focus and magic of the routine.

Dim the lights.

  • Pre-dim the lights in their bedroom, as this will also help with melatonin production. If your child is scared of the dark and requests you leave a light on it’s best to have one that emits a warm amber or orange glow. Turn it on at bedtime and leave it on all night. The warm low-level light will not interfere with their sleep and will offer them the reassurance they need.

Dress for bed.

  • Have their night clothes ready for their return from the bathroom so they can quickly get dressed and climb into bed.

It’s time for a story.

  • Even if your child can read to themselves, read a quiet calming story and have a cuddle and kiss goodnight then tuck them in with their favourite soft toy so they are warm and cosy.
  • Now that they’re drowsy, leave the bedroom so that they learn to fall asleep independently.

I want you to stay.

  • Your child may only be able to fall asleep happily if you stay with them. If this is the case you can help build your child’s confidence in falling asleep independently by implementing a slow gradual retreat programme at bedtime.
  • If you are sitting by the side of your child’s bed as they sleep, start by sitting just a little further away. Reassure them you will wait for them to be fully asleep before you leave their bedroom. After 3 to 4 nights, move just a little further away from their bedside; you may only move a foot at a time. Keep repeating this process very slowly moving in small incremental steps until you are out of their room and then along the landing as they go to sleep. This process should take about two weeks to achieve. 

Written by Mandy Gurney the founder of Millpond Children’s Sleep Clinic

Mandy has been advising on baby, toddler and school-aged child sleep issues for nearly 30 years. She is a qualified nurse, midwife and health visitor.

Blog updated Feb 2025

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