A Bedtime Routine for Your School-Aged Child

A Cosy Bedtime Routine for Your School-Aged Child

Bedtime should be a calm, cosy, and predictable time for children, helping them unwind from the day and settle in for a good night’s sleep. But in reality, it can often feel like a battle—whether it’s screens keeping them awake, bedtime worries creeping in, or just struggling to switch off.

If your child is restless at bedtime or wakes up groggy in the morning, a structured, gentle bedtime routine can make all the difference.

Here’s how to set up a relaxing evening routine that works.

bedtime routine

Screens & Bedtime: When to Switch Off?

Why It Matters: While blue light has long been blamed for sleep problems, the latest research suggests it’s not the light itself—it’s how screens keep children engaged, alert, and awake long past their natural bedtime.

What the Research Says:

  • The more time children spend on screens before bed, the later their bedtime shifts and the less sleep they get overall.
  • Scrolling, gaming, and social media keep the brain in a high-alert state, making it harder to wind down.
  • Keeping a phone on at night—especially with notifications active—leads to disrupted sleep and poorer sleep quality.

What Parents Can Do:

  • Set a screen curfew – ideally one hour before bed.
  • Keep phones and tablets out of the bedroom overnight.
  • Swap screens for quiet activities – like reading, colouring, or a chat about the day.

Tip: Netflix, YouTube, and TikTok can be particularly tricky as they encourage endless scrolling. Try using a timer or ‘wind-down’ mode to help your child log off.

screens prevent sleep

Helping an Anxious Child Wind Down

Why It Matters: Some children struggle to switch off because of worries and racing thoughts. If your child gets anxious at bedtime, their brain stays in high-alert mode, making it difficult to relax.

What Helps:

  • Have a worry journal – let them write or draw any worries before bed.
  • Set up a worry time earlier in the evening – so bedtime isn’t spent overthinking.
  • Teach calm breathing techniques – try 3-4-5 breathing (inhale for 3, hold for 4, exhale for 5).
  • Try mindfulness or gentle yoga – even a few minutes can make a big difference.

relaxing to help anxiety sleep issues in children

What & When Should Children Eat Before Bed?

Why It Matters: Eating too close to bedtime can cause restless sleep, while certain foods help promote relaxation.

What to Do:

  • Last big meal – at least 2 hours before bed.
  • Good bedtime snacks – a banana with peanut butter, warm milk, or yoghurt.
  • Avoid sugary foods & caffeine – including chocolate, fizzy drinks, and tea!

how caffeine affects sleep

Exercise & Sleep: Getting the Balance Right

Why It Matters: Regular movement helps burn off excess energy and promotes deeper, more restorative sleep. Engaging in physical activity earlier in the day is ideal, as exercising too close to bedtime can stimulate the body and make it harder to fall asleep. Ideally, it’s best to stop exercising 2 hours before bedtime.

What Helps:

  • Encourage outdoor play or exercise in the afternoon.
  • Avoid high-energy activities 2 hours before bed.
  • Try gentle stretching or relaxation exercises before sleep.

bedtime routine

Making the Bedroom Sleep-Friendly

Why It Matters: A cluttered, bright, or noisy bedroom can make it harder for children to settle. A cosy, calming space tells their brain it’s time to switch off.

Simple Fixes for a Sleep-Friendly Bedroom:

  • Dim the lights an hour before bed – this helps with melatonin production.
  • Keep the bed solely for reading and sleeping – no homework, screens, or gaming in bed!
  • Use warm, soft lighting – swap bright overhead lights for lamps or fairy lights.
  • Check the temperature – around 18°C is ideal for sleep.

The Magic of a Warm Bath Before Bed

Why It Matters: A warm bath 30-60 minutes before bed helps relax muscles and lower stress, making it easier to fall asleep. It also mimics the body’s natural temperature drop before sleep.

How to Make It Extra Relaxing:

  • Add a few drops of lavender oil to the bath.
  • Follow up with a bedtime story.
  • Snuggle up with cosy PJs and a cuddle.

Avoiding Bedtime Battles & Discussions

Why It Matters: Arguments, last-minute homework, or overstimulation can trigger stress hormones and have an alerting effect, making bedtime a struggle.

How to Keep Bedtime Calm & Positive:

  • Finish homework at least 1 hour before bed.
  • Avoid difficult conversations late at night – save them for the morning.
  • Keep the evening low-key – music, stories, or quiet play.

teens sleep

Why a Parent-Led Bedtime Helps

Why It Matters: Studies show that when parents take an active role in bedtime, children go to bed earlier and have more sleep.

How to Lead a Calm Bedtime:

  • Keep bedtime at the same time every night (including weekends!).
  • Spend 10-15 minutes of quiet connection before the start of the bedtime routine – reading, chatting, or a cuddle.
  • Offer gentle reassurance – a consistent routine makes children feel safe and secure.

bedtime routine

The Power of Morning Light

Why It Matters: Morning sunlight helps reset the body clock, making it easier to fall asleep at night.

How to Help:

  • Encourage outdoor time in the morning (even just walking to school).
  • Open curtains as soon as they wake up.
  • Let natural light fill the breakfast area.

bedtime routine

Final Thoughts: A Calm Bedtime = Happier Mornings!

A consistent, soothing bedtime routine can transform your child’s sleep. By keeping screens in check, managing worries, adjusting diet and exercise, and creating a cosy wind-down routine, bedtime can become a calm and comforting part of the day.

Need help with your child’s sleep? We’ve supported hundreds of UK families in creating better sleep habits. Get in touch to find out how we can help!

Written by Mandy Gurney February 2025

Relaxation techniques to help your child with bedtime anxiety

Helping Your Child Overcome Bedtime Anxiety with Relaxation Techniques

Bedtime should be a calm and comforting experience for both parents and children, but for many children struggling with bedtime anxiety, it can feel overwhelming. Racing thoughts, nighttime worries, and separation anxiety can make it hard for children to relax and fall asleep, leading to bedtime resistance and overtired, stressed-out families by the end of the evening.

The good news? Gentle relaxation techniques—such as deep breathing exercises, guided visualisation, and progressive muscle relaxation—can help reduce anxiety at bedtime and create a soothing sleep routine that helps your child feel safe and ready for sleep.

In this post, I’ll explore bedtime relaxation techniques designed to ease nighttime anxiety, promote calmness, and support healthy sleep habits for children.

relaxation to help with anxiety at bedtime

Deep breathing for relaxation – the 3-4-5 breathing pattern: 

One effective approach is to practice deep breathing exercises with your child. Guide them to take slow, deep breaths: inhale through their nose for a count of three, hold their breath for a count of four, and then exhale slowly through their mouth for a count of five. This rhythmic breathing can help calm their nervous system and promote a sense of tranquillity.

Stretch and Relax

Another technique is progressive muscle relaxation. This involves instructing your child to tense and then relax different muscle groups in their body, starting from their toes and working their way up to their head. For example, they can clench their fists tightly and then release, noticing how their hands feel when relaxed. This method not only helps alleviate physical tension but also diverts their attention from anxious thoughts.

Guided visualisation exercises for bedtime anxiety can help children feel calm and ready for sleep:

Visualisation exercises can be very helpful. Encourage your child to close their eyes and imagine a peaceful place, such as a beach or a forest. They should use all their senses to create a vivid mental picture. By describing the sights, sounds, and smells of their chosen sanctuary, they can escape from anxious feelings and promote relaxation.

 

relaxtion to help with sleep anxiety

The Cognitive Shuffle:

The Cognitive Shuffle is a technique designed to distract the brain from anxious or racing thoughts by focusing on random, non-stressful mental imagery instead. This mimics the relaxed, disorganised thinking that naturally occurs as your child drifts into sleep.

How to Practice the Cognitive Shuffle:

  • Pick a Word: Choose a simple word, like “bed,” “beach,” or “apple.”
  • Think of Random Words: For each letter in the word, think of as many unrelated things as possible.
    • Example: For “bed,” think banana, ball, butterfly, basket…
  • Visualise: Picture each word in your mind, imagining its shape, colour, or how it looks.

If your child’s mind starts to wander, they should simply return to their chosen word and continue thinking of random things.

This method can be an effective way to ease bedtime anxiety and help children transition into sleep more smoothly.

 Mindfulness:

Finally, introducing mindfulness practices tailored for children, such as simple meditation or guided imagery, can also be highly effective. There are many resources available, including apps and books specifically designed for young audiences that lead them through these calming practices.

relaxing to help anxiety sleep issues in children

Choosing a relaxation technique for your child:

Choose which technique you think would be most suitable for your child and try it with them for a week or two. If that particular relaxation technique doesn’t suit them, you could then try a different option. When you find the one that best suits your child, you should find bedtime becomes more enjoyable for you all, see a reduction in their anxiety and an enhanced quality of sleep.

 

Please remember to check out my bedtime routine guidelines, as a calm focused leadup to sleep is a vital part of this process.

In my blogs in this series, I will explore:

Struggling with your child’s bedtime anxiety? Book a personalised sleep consultation today and help your child develop healthy sleep habits for life. We’ve helped hundreds of families navigate bedtime anxiety, and we’re here to help you too.

 

Written by Mandy Gurney February 2025

How to Help Your Children Sleep Well Over Christmas

How to help you and your children sleep well over Christmas

Sleeping well over christmas

Christmas is an exciting time for children, with the magic of Santa 🎅, festive gatherings, and special family moments. But for parents, the holidays can often mean disrupted sleep routines, overexcited little ones, and overtired tears. If you’re wondering how to keep the joy alive while ensuring everyone gets enough rest, we’ve got you covered.

Here are my expert tips to help your family maintain good sleep habits during the festive season so that everyone can enjoy a merry and restful Christmas. 🎁

Pack Familiar Comforts 🧸

If you’re staying away from home over the holidays, bring along as many familiar items as possible. A favourite soft toy, blanket, or even your child’s usual bedding can provide comfort and help them settle more easily in an unfamiliar environment.

Spend time in your child’s temporary bedroom before bedtime. Unpack their belongings together, share a cuddle and a bedtime story in the new space, and show them around the house, including where you and other family members will be sleeping. This helps them feel secure and prepared for the new surroundings. 🛏️

sleeping well at christmas

Keep Naps on Track 🕒

Naps can be tricky during the festive season, but they’re essential for preventing overtiredness, especially for younger children. Here’s how to manage them:

  • Stick to the Clock: Aim to start nap time about 15 minutes before your child’s usual schedule. Take them to a quiet space to wind down with a story or cuddle. 📚
  • Use White Noise: If background noise from celebrations might disturb their sleep, a white noise machine or app can help mask sudden sounds. 🎶
  • Fresh Air Naps: Consider scheduling naps during a family walk. The fresh air and gentle movement can help your child rest, and it’s a great way to recharge as a family. 🌬️🚶‍▪

help naps at christmas

Foods That Support Sleep 🦃

Holiday treats are inevitable, but try to limit sugary and caffeinated foods at least two hours before bedtime. Instead, offer sleep-friendly snacks like turkey, which is rich in tryptophan—an amino acid that supports the production of serotonin, which is a precursor to melatonin, a key hormone for sleep. 🍪 Click here for a guide on tryptophan foods 

Keep to Familiar Routines ⏳

Whether you’re at home or away, consistency is key. Follow the same bedtime routine your child knows and loves. Even if bedtime is slightly later on Christmas night, keep to the same sequence of calming activities like bath time, reading, or gentle songs. Familiar routines provide comfort and signal that it’s time for sleep. 🛁📖

Maintain Regular Sleep Times 🛌

While Christmas Day itself may be an exception, aim to keep your child’s bedtime and wake-up times consistent for the rest of the holiday season. A well-regulated sleep schedule helps keep their body clock in check, reducing overtiredness, tears and tantrums. ⏰

bedtime routine at christmas

Create a Calm Bedtime Environment 🌙

To help your child wind down from the excitement of the day:

  • Quiet Time: Spend 10-15 minutes in a quiet activity like reading or puzzles before starting the bedtime routine. 🧩
  • Say Goodnight: Say goodnight to family and friends and retreat to a calm space to prepare for bed. 👋

Troubleshooting Sleep Challenges 🛠️

If your child struggles to settle on the first few nights away from home or with guests around, try:

  • Taking Charge of Bedtime: Handle the bedtime routine yourself until your child adjusts to the changes. 🤗
  • Morning Help: Ask family members, like grandparents, to help with morning activities so you can get some extra rest. ☀️

Stay Firm with Boundaries 🚦

It’s tempting to let routines slide, but setting clear boundaries from the start can prevent bedtime battles. Say goodnight and settle your child as you usually would. The first two nights set the tone for the holiday period, so staying consistent is essential.

If things don’t go as planned, don’t worry. Once you return home, re-establish regular routines immediately. It may take a few nights, but your child will soon adjust. 💪

helping baby sleep well at christmas

Enjoy the Festive Season 🎅🎉

Most importantly, don’t let sleep challenges overshadow the joy of Christmas. Take time to look after yourself, embrace the festive spirit, and remember that flexibility is okay during this special time of year. 🎊

By following these tips, you can help your family enjoy a Christmas that’s full of magic, joy, and plenty of restful sleep! 🌟

 

Merry Christmas from the team at Millpond!

Why Your School-Aged Child Struggles with Sleep & How to Fix It

Is Your Child Getting Enough Sleep?

 

Why is my 8-year-old struggling to fall asleep

Does your child struggle to fall asleep and your whole evening is taken up with bedtime? Do they wake frequently during the night, or wake up far too early? You’re not alone.

Sleep issues in school-aged children (ages 5–12) are more common than many parents realise—and they can significantly impact a child’s mood, learning, and overall health.

The good news? With the right support, you can help your child develop healthy sleep habits and get the rest they need to thrive.

In this post, we’ll explore why school-aged children often struggle with sleep and how a professional sleep consultation can offer practical solutions.

Common Sleep Issues in School-Aged Children

Many children face sleep challenges that affect their ability to function during the day. Here are some of the most common problems:

  • Difficulty Falling Asleep

Bedtime battles can be triggered by anxiety, school-related worries, or simply an inability to wind down after a busy day. (Learn more about anxiety and sleep issues)

  • Night Waking

Waking frequently during the night can be caused by nightmares, bedwetting, or environmental factors such as noise or changes in temperature.

  • Early Waking

Does your child wake up at 5 a.m. ready to start the day? Early waking often leads to insufficient sleep, which affects their mood and energy levels.

  • Daytime Fatigue and Lack of Focus

Children who don’t get enough sleep often struggle to concentrate in school, leading to lower academic performance and emotional outbursts.

How Poor Sleep Affects Your Child

Sleep deprivation can have serious consequences for school-aged children, including:

  • Academic Challenges: Poor sleep reduces memory retention, focus, and problem-solving abilities, making it harder to keep up in school.
  • Behavioural Issues: Sleep-deprived children are more likely to experience irritability, hyperactivity, or emotional meltdowns.
  • Physical Health: Insufficient sleep can weaken the immune system and increase the risk of obesity and other health problems.

Learn more about the connection between sleep and school performance on our [Sleep and Learning] page.

How a Sleep Consultation Can Help Your Family

At Millpond Children’s Sleep Clinic, we fully understand how frustrating sleep problems can be—for both you and your child. That’s why we offer personalised sleep consultations designed to meet the unique needs of each family.

Here’s how we can help:

  • Tailored Sleep Plans:

    We assess your child’s sleep challenges and create a bespoke plan to improve their sleep routine.

  • Expert Guidance:

    With over 30 years of experience in children’s sleep consulting, we offer practical, evidence-based solutions that work. Learn more about us.

  • Ongoing Support:

We provide unlimited follow-up email support and consultations to ensure your child’s progress continues and that any setbacks are addressed quickly.

Why Parents in the UK Trust Millpond

We’ve helped thousands of families across the UK overcome sleep difficulties. Here’s what one parent had to say:

“We were at our wit’s end with our 7-year-old daughter’s constant getting up at bedtime and taking hours to fall asleep. It was extremely stressful for us and her and we all dreaded bedtime. Millpond’s personalised approach changed everything. Our daughter now goes to bed happily, falls asleep easily by herself,  and we finally have our evenings back!” – Katie-Suffolk

Ready to Help Your Child Sleep Better?

If your child is struggling with sleep, don’t wait for the problem to resolve itself. A professional sleep consultation can make all the difference.

Book your consultation with Millpond Children’s Sleep Clinic today and take the first step towards better sleep and brighter days.

[Book Now]

 

For more on children’s sleep problems and recommendations, visit the NHS’s guide to sleep for children

Helping Families Sleep Better: From Babies to Teen

sleep coaching

At Millpond Children’s Sleep Clinic, we understand that sleep challenges can feel overwhelming, affecting not just your child, but the entire family. Whether you’re dealing with sleepless nights with a newborn, bedtime battles with a toddler, or a teenager who can’t seem to fall asleep before midnight, we’re here to help.

But what sets us apart from other sleep consultants?

We Are Health Professionals with 30 Years of Experience

Our team at Millpond consists entirely of experienced health professionals, including health visitors and midwives. With over three decades of expertise, we bring a deep understanding of child development, family dynamics, and the science of sleep.

We Identify Underlying Medical Issues

Sleep problems are often more complex than they seem. Many families come to us after trying countless sleep strategies that haven’t worked. In some cases, unresolved sleep issues may be linked to underlying medical conditions, such as:

  • Allergies or intolerances causing discomfort and disrupted sleep.
  • Reflux or digestive issues that make it difficult for your baby to settle.
  • Sleep apnoea in children or teens, leading to restless nights and daytime fatigue.
  • Developmental or sensory challenges that impact sleep routines.

Our healthcare experience allows us to recognise these potential issues and guide families in seeking the right medical support alongside our sleep solutions. If necessary, we work closely with paediatricians and other healthcare professionals to ensure a holistic approach to your child’s sleep.

toddler sleep help

Tailored, Evidence-Based Sleep Solutions

We don’t believe in one-size-fits-all approaches. Every child or young person is unique, and so are their sleep needs. We create personalised sleep plans that consider your child’s/young person’s age, temperament, and any medical or developmental concerns.

Support for Every Stage of Childhood

We support families across all stages of childhood, from newborns to teenagers:

  • Babies: Establishing healthy sleep habits and managing night wakings.
  • Toddlers: Addressing bedtime resistance, early rising, and transitions like moving from cot to bed.
  • School-aged children: Managing anxiety-driven sleep issues, night terrors, and settling problems.
  • Teenagers: Dealing with delayed sleep phase syndrome, the impact of screen time on sleep, and stress-related sleep disruptions.

sleep training

Why Choose Millpond?

  • We offer gentle, evidence-based solutions that respect your parenting style.
  • Our team combines healthcare expertise with a genuine passion for helping families thrive.
  • We empower parents with the knowledge and tools to maintain healthy sleep habits long-term.

 

  • If your baby/child or young person is struggling with sleep, don’t wait.
  • Sleep is essential for your child’s health, development, and well-being—and yours too.
  • Let us help you get the rest your family deserves.

Contact us today and take the first step towards better sleep for everyone.

Why Sleep Coaching Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All

Tailoring Sleep Coaching Approaches to Fit Your Child’s Needs

sleep coaching

One thing has become abundantly clear over my many years of working with families on sleep: there’s no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to sleep coaching! Each child is unique, and their sleep challenges—and the solutions—need to be just as individualised.

When I first started working in this field there was very little research on sleep, only a couple of books and certainly no social media platforms. Now things are very different, which is a good thing but parents often feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of advice out there. From strict routines to the latest sleep gadgets, it’s easy to get lost in a sea of conflicting information.

But here’s the key: what works for one child may not work for another, and that’s okay!

Here’s how we approach sleep coaching to ensure it’s as effective as possible:

  • Understanding Individual Sleep Patterns: Every child has their own natural sleep rhythms. By observing and understanding these patterns, we can create a customised sleep plan that aligns with their unique needs.
  • Considering the Family Dynamic: A successful sleep strategy doesn’t just work for the child—it works for the whole family. We consider parents’ routines, sibling dynamics, and cultural factors to ensure the plan is practical and sustainable.
  • Gentle, Gradual Methods: Abrupt changes can be stressful for both parents and children. We favour gentle, evidence-based approaches that respect the child’s pace, ensuring a smoother transition to better sleep habits.
  • Ongoing Support and Adjustments: As babies and children adapt to the new routines and their sleep improves, their sleep plans will also be adapted to reflect this. We’re here to support families every step of the way, making necessary adjustments to keep sleep on track through different stages of development.

Sleep coaching isn’t about following a rigid formula but finding what works best for your baby, child and family. You can create a peaceful bedtime routine that promotes healthy sleep and happy, well-rested children with the right approach.

If you’re struggling to find the right sleep solution for your baby or child, we’re here to help.

Let’s work together to create a personalised plan that meets your family’s needs

 

How Developmental Stages Affect Baby and Child Sleep

Human sleep undergoes continuous change from the pre-born baby through to adulthood, with the most rapid changes occurring in the first 6 months of life. 

As your baby and child grow, their sleep patterns evolve rapidly, especially during their first year. Just when you think you’ve got their sleep figured out, new developmental milestones can come into play, sometimes causing what’s commonly referred to as s ‘sleep regression’.

In this blog, we’ll explore how these developmental stages—from early motor skills to language development and more—can have an impact on your baby and child’s sleep. Understanding these changes can help you better navigate and adapt to your child’s evolving sleep needs, ensuring both you and your little one get the rest you need.

 

help baby's sleep

Your Babies Sleep: Age 6 to 12 months

  • Nighttime Sleep:

By now, your baby will have the majority of their sleep at night, although it is still common for them to wake occasionally. Non-REM sleep dominates early in the night, promoting deep restorative sleep. By the middle of the night, REM sleep becomes more prominent, which is important for cognitive development and memory consolidation. REM sleep accounts for about 30% of the total sleep time at this age.

The average amount of nighttime sleep for most babies at this age is 10 to 11 hours with or without waking for feeds. This extended nighttime sleep is supported by the gradual reduction of daytime sleep and the development of longer periods of wakefulness during the day.

  • Sleep Cycles:

Your baby’s sleep cycle at this stage is roughly 90 minutes long at night. This cycle includes both deep non-REM sleep, which helps with physical restoration, and lighter REM sleep, which supports brain development and dreaming. As they transition through these cycles, your baby may stir or wake briefly.

  • Naps:

Around 6 months of age, your baby will typically take three distinct naps throughout the day. These naps help them manage their increasing wakefulness during the day. By 9 months, your baby’s capacity to stay awake between naps improves significantly. As a result, they often drop their late afternoon nap, consolidating their daytime sleep into two main naps.

  • Separation Anxiety:

Around the age of 7 months, many babies begin to experience separation anxiety, which can lead to noticeable sleep disruptions. This developmental phase is marked by your baby’s growing awareness of their attachment to you and an increased sensitivity to your absence.

During this time, your baby may become distressed when you leave the room or when it’s time for bed. They might cry, reach out, or resist being put down in their crib, reflecting their newfound understanding that you might not be immediately available. This separation anxiety is a sign of a secure attachment, indicating that your baby has formed a strong bond with you and is developing emotional depth.

  • Physical Development:

As your baby develops new motor skills such as sitting, crawling, and cruising, you may notice disruptions in their sleep patterns. This phase of physical growth is marked by increased exploration and practice of these newly acquired skills, which can extend into their sleep environment.

When your baby is learning to sit up or crawl, they might practice these movements even while in their cot, leading to frequent awakenings or restlessness during the night. 

  • Language Development:

As your baby begins to speak their first words, you might notice an increase in sleep disturbances. This period of language development is marked by a busy, active mind that’s processing and trying out new skills.

Your baby’s growing ability to recognise and use words can lead to heightened mental activity, even during sleep. They might wake up more frequently as their brain processes new vocabulary, phrases, and concepts learned throughout the day. Additionally, they may experiment with sounds or practice speaking just as you’re trying to calm them ready for sleep.

  • Teething:

Teething can be a challenging period for both you and your baby, often leading to discomfort that can disrupt their sleep. As new teeth push through the gums, your baby may experience soreness and overall discomfort, which can result in more frequent night awakenings. 

During this potentially long and difficult time, it’s best to respond to your baby’s needs. You can help soothe their discomfort by offering teething toys that are chilled or gently massaging their gums with a clean finger. Additionally, using a mild pain reliever, as recommended by your paediatrician, can provide relief. Maintaining a consistent bedtime routine and offering extra comfort during night wakings can also help your baby feel more secure and ease their teething troubles.

 

help toddlers sleep

Your Toddler’s Sleep: Age 1 to 2 Years 

Between 12 and 15 months, most toddlers transition to a single daytime nap, typically taken after lunch. To help prevent overtiredness and make bedtime smoother, consider moving bedtime earlier.

At this stage, your toddler might develop minor fears, such as of animals or loud noises, which can disrupt bedtime. They may also form a strong attachment to one parent, experience tantrums when frustrated, and show increased separation anxiety, especially around 18 months.

As your toddler’s understanding of simple commands and language grows, they may begin walking and climbing, fostering newfound independence that can lead to bedtime challenges.

They will enjoy listening to stories and might start testing boundaries for more.

help my child sleep

Your Child’s Sleep: Ages 2 to 5 Years

During this stage, your child may start experiencing nightmares and developing fears, such as a fear of the dark. They might ask for a nightlight or request that the door be left open at bedtime. Their anxiety about being alone in a room can make settling down more challenging.

The transition from a cot to a bed can introduce a sense of freedom for your child, which may lead to resistance at bedtime or an increase in night wakings.

By age 3, your child’s sleep will typically consolidate into a single nighttime sleep as daytime naps reduce and often stop by this age.

Many children also begin to stay dry at night and may move out of nappies. This new awareness of their need to use the toilet can occasionally disrupt their sleep.

Increased independence at this age might result in resistance to bedtime routines, such as getting dressed, brushing teeth, or going to bed.

Additionally, starting nursery or school introduces significant changes that can unsettle your child and affect their sleep.

From age 3, children can usually wait for short periods at bedtime and start to understand the concept of rewards, which can be used to encourage positive behaviour changes.

By age 5, children are typically able to articulate their fears, worries, and frustrations more effectively.

How to Improve Your Child’s Sleep with a Sleep Diary

Understanding and Improving Your Child’s Sleep Patterns

Do you know when and how long your baby or child sleeps both during the day and at night? Are you aware of the factors that influence or interfere with your child’s sleep patterns? Do these patterns repeat consistently over days or weeks?

These might seem like straightforward questions, but many parents struggle to answer them accurately, especially when they are busy and overtired. However, gathering this basic information is crucial to determining whether your child has a sleep problem and identifying the best course of action.

Keeping a Sleep Diary

One of the most effective ways to record your child’s sleep patterns is by maintaining a sleep diary for two weeks. It can be a simple document, but the data it provides can help address a wide range of sleep issues.

When to Start?

The best time to start keeping a sleep diary is today. Even if you haven’t decided on a specific approach to managing your child’s sleep, any information you gather now will give you a head start in determining the best strategy. Additionally, noting your aims on the diary page can keep you focused on your goals, especially when tiredness and emotions threaten to derail your efforts.

Benefits of a Sleep Diary

A simple daily diary can teach you a lot and guide your child towards better sleep.

Here’s how a sleep diary can help:

  • Assess Sleep Adequacy: Determine if your child is getting enough sleep and if it’s occurring at the best times.
  • Track Progress: Whether you’re introducing a structured sleep program or making small adjustments to meal and nap times, a diary helps you see the impact of these changes.
  • Objectivity: With the bare facts, it’s easier to spot patterns and address them quickly, minimizing emotional bias.
  • Identify External Influences: See how activities outside sleep times affect your child’s sleep.
  • Evaluate Responses: Understand how your responses to your child’s sleep habits may help or hinder the situation.
  • Baseline Information: Use this data to assess changes in your child’s behaviour and your management of those changes.
  • Consistency: Helps you maintain consistency, which is crucial for establishing a routine.
  • Motivation: Small improvements in sleep habits can increase your motivation to continue with changes.
  • Professional Consultation: Provides valuable information for health professionals if you seek their advice.

Starting a sleep diary today can make a significant difference in understanding and improving your child’s sleep patterns.

This simple tool can provide insights, track progress, and help you remain objective and consistent in your approach, ultimately guiding your child towards better sleep and a healthier routine.

Written by Mandy Gurney RGN.RM.DipHV

My child’s afraid of the dark

My child’s afraid of the dark

It is normal for children to have nighttime fears and for the majority of them to surface at bedtime when it’s dark, at a time we all naturally feel more vulnerable. They are part of the normal development of a child’s imagination and usually start when children begin to understand the wider world and the fears that might bring.

Being afraid of the dark is common among children; in fact, research shows as many as 73% of children aged 3 to 12 years old struggle with nighttime fears. Studies also showed the prevalence of fears are related to age group; with fears being common in 4- to 6-year-olds, but becoming even more frequent in 7- to 9-year-olds and then remaining relatively stable in 10- to 12-year-olds.

The type of fear alters with age too. For younger children, they tend to surface when their imagination kicks -in and they struggle to differentiate between fantasy and reality. So, to them the monsters and witches they see in books and on screens are real and could easily appear in their darkened bedrooms at night when they’re alone.

For school-aged children fears tend to be related to more real-life events such as worrying about intruders coming into their home, hearing of local burglaries or starting school and separating from their parents.

The good news is children do eventually grow out of them but in the meantime, it can make them reluctant to go to bed and be a cause of night waking as well.

How to help your child who’s afraid of the dark:

Discuss worries and fears during the day

It’s important to take your child’s fears seriously as they are real to them and, depending on how old your child is, set time aside to discuss them. It’s best not to use bedtime to do this as this could trigger monster thoughts just as they are trying to go to sleep; instead have some quiet 1 to 1 chatting time with you earlier in the day and at bedtime consider using a relaxation and breathing technique to help relax them at bedtime and help them fall asleep.

Offer reassurance

It is important to reassure your child if they are scared. Their feelings are real and it’s important to recognise them and that they are scared. Reassure them that everything is ok, their bedroom is safe and you are there to protect them. You may need to do this at bedtime and again in the night if they wake.

 Building confidence

Help to build your child’s confidence and take the fear out of the dark encourage them to play games at home such as hide and seek and treasure hunts. Start with the games close to you and with time expand the hiding zone so they are happy to hide further away, with you remaining in another room. As they become even more confident encourage them to hide or look for treasure in dim light and then graduate to hiding or seeking treasure in the dark with torches. As your child is having fun they soon forget to be scared and start to build up their confidence in the dark

Night lights

No matter what your child is afraid of, a night light can help. Set up a dim amber or orange glow light in your child’s bedroom, this will not stop them from sleeping but will help the room feel less scary. Have it on at bedtime and leave it on all night. They may also be reassured by leaving the bedroom door open and the landing light on so that they don’t feel isolated from the rest of the family.

Go into your child’s bedroom when it’s dark and with a child’s eye look around the bedroom to see if there is anything in the room that could look scary at night. A shadow or a favourite cuddly toy in the day can turn into a scary monster in the dark.

A friendly bedtime toy

Having a security object in bed overnight such as a special cuddly toy can help your child feel more relaxed and happier at bedtime and throughout the night.

Scary TV and books

Three little pigs near their small houses and scary wolf Three little pigs near their small houses and scary wolf. Three pigs and house, fairytale story. Vector illustration wolf fairy stories stock illustrations

Vet all the books and TV programmes your child could be watching. Many traditional bedtime stories feature wolves, witches and bears!

I don’t want you to leave!

If your child gets anxious about you leaving at bedtime, offer a boring excuse as to why you need to briefly leave, e.g., explain that you are off to “have a wee” or “turn the tap off in the bathroom” etc, but that you’ll be back in a minute. Return after only a minute, and say “well done you were very brave, I’ll stay now until you’re asleep”. The following night repeat and briefly leave again, but this time leave for 2 minutes.

Keep repeating this process slowly extending the time you are out of the bedroom for until your child can happily fall asleep without you in their bedroom or is happy for you to leave.

Offer rewards

If your child has done well give them lots of positive feedback; “you’ve done so well, you were very brave, I’m very proud of you”……. You can also consider setting up a reward system such as pasta in a jar or stickers to reinforce their behavior.

How to help your child sleep well

Did you know one of the best gifts you could give your child is the ability to sleep?

Sleep is the only thing we do that has the biggest positive overall impact on our bodies and our brain.

It is responsible for controlling our appetite and stablising our blood sugars, supporting our immune system and preventing infection. Helping us to learn both scholarly facts and motor skills by storing and making sense of our memories. Sleep enables us to keep our emotions on an even keel and make logical and creative decisions. Sleep in effect makes us happier, healthier and brighter.

child sleep well

Here are Millpond’s top tips to help your child sleep well

 

Get your routine right 

30 to 40 minutes before your child goes to bed carry out the same series of steps every night – make this routine your bedtime ritual. Having a regular routine at about the same time every night means your child’s body will start to prepare for sleep as soon as you start this process.

The lead up to bedtime

About an hour before your child goes to sleep have quiet time. Tidy away the toys and turn off the TV. Research has shown light from computers, iPads etc. can interfere with the production of the sleep hormone melatonin.

Food for sleep

If your child is hungry at this time, avoid sugary foods and drinks. Instead offer foods that contain the amino acid tryptophan that causes sleepiness. The best snacks should contain carbohydrates and protein and are found in foods such as chicken or turkey with brown bread, peanut butter on whole grain cereal or low sugar cereal and milk.

Warm bath

Have a warm and relaxing bath lasting no longer than 10 minutes.

Keeping the bath to a maximum of 10 minutes means bath time doesn’t become a stimulating play time. The added bonus is coming out of the warm water allows the body to cool quickly triggering the sleep hormone melatonin.

Straight to bed

Then go straight into your child’s bedroom; going back into the living area at this time will lose the focus and magic of the routine and make your child think it’s time to play again.

 

Lighting

Pre dim the lights in the bedroom. Dim light is another trigger for melatonin production.

Dress for bed

Have their night clothes ready for your return from the bathroom so they can quickly get dressed and climb into bed.

Story time

Read a story and have a cuddle and kiss goodnight then tuck them in with their favourite soft toy so they are warm and cosy.

Now that they’re drowsy, leave the bedroom so that they learn to fall asleep independently.

Mandy Gurney

RGN, RM, DIP HV.

Founder Millpond Sleep Clinic

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sleep@millpondsleepclinic.com 020 8444 0040

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